Sometimes I Forget...

...what awesome friends I have. I found this email waiting for me this morning when I woke up. Needless to say, it completely brightened my day.

"Well, today is that day. I hope yours is okay!
If you're depressed, you'll be like the rest
of the fools who found love, and lost it again, But I know something about you my friend.
Resilient as hell and will fight to the bone, just remember your heart should not be a stone.
So on this clandestine V-day, I hope you will find, That you are among friends and depression will blind.
So pick up those spirits and get some work done, and then go play Volleyball for some fun."

♥

Halloween Weekend Recap

Halloween Weekend started on Thursday night for me with Orctoberfest! Nekrogoblikon & a Band of Orcs played a show in Santa Cruz at the Vet's Hall. It was super awesome because I have not seen them since May of 2008, and Tim&Ash stayed at my apartment. They put on an amazing show! Their setlist (which I managed to score. Sooo difficult :P) was They Came from Space, Goblins are Better than Trolls, Bears, Army of Goblins, Nekropolis, In the Hall of the Goblin King, Return to the Sky, the Bog, Goblins Ahoy!, and Invasion. Lots of stuff off their new album to be out soon? It was super cool. I was up front the entire time, headbanging, growling & singing my butt off. A Band of Orcs were pretty cool. I missed most of their set because I was outside with Nekrogoblikon, but I did manage to catch two songs, including a cover of Amon Amarth's "Pursuit of Vikings"! I was standing on the side and watching, but when the opening riffs of the song nabbed my attention, naturally, I had to jump in the front and be METAL! The other three bands were alright. The best of the three was Falling to Pieces who were calling themselves a Band of Dorks that night. I don't really remember much about their set, except that they had clean vocals randomly (disliked that) and the vocalist kept talking about her cock and how big it was and how people should suck it. I thought that was very unbecoming. Also, I managed to snag her fake glasses from the show. After the show, Tim, Ash, Nicky, Alex L. from MV, and I went back to my place for some snacks and beers. It was coolz.
Friday night was incredibly epic. My friend, Ian, and I adventured to Oakland, subsequently getting lost because Oakland sucks, to see another one of my most favorite bands, ever, Ghoul! It was my second time seeing them, and boy, it was awesome despite nearly getting crushed by a stage diver, and getting kicked in the head by a stage diver. It was well worth it. And did I mention I also got the set list? Ghoul always puts on a great show, even with technical difficulties. Ross Sewage, excuse me, Cremator's bass pedal decided to not work. Killbot somehow unplugged Digestor's guitar? Regardless, the show was AMAZING. They played As Your Casket Closes, Merde!, Numbskull, Mutant Mutilator, Roadkill, Maniaxe, Graveyard Mosh, Off With Their Heads (new song!), Rise Killbot Rise, Gutbucket Blues, Kids in America, and Splatterthrash as an encore. Also, I had the privilege of seeing Cannabis Corpse, a marijuana-y parody of Cannibal Corpse. They put on a fun show as well, and had a giant bud running around on stage. It was also Brainoil's comeback show, however, they are not really up my alley, therefore I have nothing to say. They weren't too bad. And there were two other bands; the first was pretty terrible, but the second wasn't too bad. They were fun, even though they only had a guitarist & drummer. The guitarist/vocalist cracked a lot of jokes and talked about weed a lot. It was interesting.
Saturday was Halloween! I woke up at about 4 in the afternoon. In my defense, I haven't been sleeping well at all lately and it wasn't like I actually slept until 4. It was a more of a dozing on and off type slumber that ended at 4PM, so I'm not that lazy. I sat around doing nothing for a few hours, waiting to leave for my friend's party until I found out they left at five so that nullified those plans. I was getting ready to bus it to the party when I got wind that they were leaving? That made me mad because it was like I got ready for nothing! Then another one of my friends called me and said she was coming to pick me up to take me to the party so I was like cool! The party was pretty chill. I didn't really eat anything all day so it didn't take much for me to get drunk. I played some drunken foosball and dominated (naturally). Then a bunch of us took a drunktrekadventure to Taco Bell that was about a mile? away. I somehow found myself at Safeway with one of my metal buddies buying bacon and bread so we could make bacon sandwiches. We went back to his house where we made bacon sandwiches! and listened to metal while he tried to smoke me out. (I declined because marijuana & alcohol do not mix for me.) Finally around 2 in the morning I made him walk me back to my other friend's party up a giant hill. It was horrible. And by the time I got back, everyone was asleep somehow. I managed to talk someone into giving me a ride back up to campus and all was well.

Volleyball: The Good and the Bad

The last time I blogged about volleyball, it was going pretty great. Now, it's a mixed bag. I've been taking the advanced volleyball class for a few quarters now just for funsies and some exercise. This quarter there are way more guys than there are girls, and in quarters past, it's been the opposite. This quarter, there are also way more people who think they know how to play volleyball when they really don't or they think they can play with the big kids. This results in the non-advanced players getting completely beat up on and lowering the level of play. So what does Selene do? She split the class up today into boys and girls. The last time she did that, I tried to sneak off to be a man, but I was reprimanded and sent to the girls. Today, I didn't even try and just accepted defeat, tucked my tail between my legs, and braced myself for a frustrating hour and a half of class. Frustrating does not even begin to describe it when people are too inept to pass a ball coming directly at them, much less dropping within a one foot radius. Frustrating does not even begin to describe it when a set is someone bumping the ball up randomly. Frustrating does not even begin to describe it when someone shanks easy balls, so I gave up trying and spent the rest of the time trying to control my anger.
Today, however, did turn around when I went to go play intramurals with my new team. We kicked ass. And by kicked ass, I meant we completely dominated, and we have a very good chance of winning league. It was great. My friend, Alex, blocked about ten balls the first game which put us way ahead. I scored the game winning point by ripping a ball at my friend, Dave, and it got caught with him on his way down from the block. The second game, I served a good ten points, leaving the score 21-11 when we sided out. We won that game about 25-14? It was awesome. I didn't think it would be so, playing with people that I've never played with, and getting used to someone else's sets. We all worked together really well as a team, and I can sense that there's going to be no drama, and no people to hate this quarter. The terribleness of this morning has been rectified.

I Hate the Internet

I just finished my first of three midterms, so I think I am allowed to actually dabble around the internet now. Not that I wasn't in between sentences of reading my chemistry book and in between chemistry problems. I hate the internet. It prevents me from being productive. Correction, it prevents me from being effectively productive. I like reading fashion blogs and sometimes I get so hooked that I end up sitting for hours going through archives ooh-ing and ahh-ing. And then I'll see something I like which leads me to my second I hate the internet reason: I can't stop (pretend) online shopping! That in turn lead me to staying up till 3 in the morning for that past two nights while studying. At least I found some cool stuff...
Antik Batik embellished draped wool dress, Camilla Skovgaard satin chain-embellished sandals, Bottega Veneta Intreccatio-effect ring, and of course, Bottega Veneta stud-embellished Intreccatio clutch. I like the juxtaposition of hard and soft (that's what she said?), feminine, yet edgy, etc. etc. because that pretty much embodies who I am. I love metal, but I'm not some crazy Goth-ed out chick, and tossing little metal elements in here and there. The shoes (and I guess the ring) balance out the super girly-ness of the dress and clutch.
Okay, not going to lie, I'm picking all these outfits out based on the clutches. I don't know why, but I tend to gravitate towards purses when I browse online. You can never have too many! Well, you can never have too many clothes, shoes, or purses... Anyway, my main point was I pick outfits around bags. Clicking through Barney's, I found this Derek Lam Elsa python clutch, and it practically stopped my heart. The scales absolutely pop. I love the asymmetrical design of the clutch. And I don't really like yellow, but the color looks absolutely amazing on the Elsa python. There's a black python version as well, but the color didn't do justice for the skin. The clutch is paired with an Herve Leger dress, Christian Louboutins, and Oscar de la Renta earrings.

A Debut

I mentioned previously that I made my first venture into the designer handbag world. This baby has been hiding in its dust bag in the Nordstrom bag that I brought it home in until this past weekend when I decided that I needed some Marc by Marc Jacobs in my life. So I brought it out to play! I'd been drooling over the gorgeous electric violet color all summer when I first got a peek at Nordstrom.com. When sheer luck brought me to find this on sale in Oregon, well, I couldn't resist. I clutched it gleefully as I made my way around the handbag department in the Nordstrom in Clackamas, Oregon, and it would not leave my hands. I just had to have it.
I'm not really sure what the exact name of this one is; I can't find it anywhere online, and believe me, I've looked as I drooled over a bunch of other Marc by Marc Jacobs purse. It's the Posh Turnlock something... clutch? I have no idea, but I couldn't care less. I love it. I love the color. I love the super soft, supple, pebbled leather. I love how I have to carefully choose what to put in it because it's so small. I love it! I know it's not a big bag, literally, in price, and in name, but I honestly could not have found a better way to start my handbag collection. I am in LOVE, and it makes me all giddy, excited and happy inside. :) Now that I have one, I can't wait to have many, many more (much to my wallet & boyfriend's dismay, but who cares!). The thrill and wonder of purchasing one rocks. I'm not sure of what to add next to my collection, but I'm eyeing the Louis Vuitton Speedy 25 or 30 ($60 price difference) in Cassis Epi Leather... or maybe something easier on my wallet, the Marc by Marc Jacobs Groovee Satchel in this gorgeous navy blue color (no idea what it's called). I'm not sure yet, but I am sure excited! And I'm in love!!!
PS - my room is not really that messy. It was like a one weekend thing.
PPS - I also have a cute Coach Skinny Mini in purple patent to debut. I got it to put wallet-y stuff in to put in the purse but I've been using it a lot more.

Today

Today has been awesome! Volleyball all day!
I woke up for my volleyball class at noon. It was super fun. Then my friend convinced me to go to the UCSC men's open gym. I was very apprehensive, anxious, and partially terrified. Then I was even more so when I got there because there were lots of guys! And they were all about a foot taller than me! Or more! But I held my own and kicked ass. I was digging stuff left and right. I wanted to go to the Twin Lakes open gym but nobody else wanted to go. Oh well, I am very excited and proud. I can play with the boys! Hahaha. That's what she said.

Pretend Shopping. Pt. I

I've been pretty bored and pretty broke as of late. However, the internet is very vast and full of things I like, so I decided to indulge in some pretend shopping. I spent a good few hours on the Net-A-Porter, Bloomingdale's, and Nordstrom websites while simultaneously clicking through the Spring 2010 shows on New York mag. If only I had money... or a sugar daddy to purchase me wonderful and expensive things. Saving the images and drooling for now will do though. Someday. Also, this post is probably of no relevance, but that's okay.

From left to right:
Marc Jacobs Posh Turnlock Jazz Bag Satchel - I absolutely LOVE the color, electric violet. And the leather is super squishy and soft. Not really appropriate for the fall, but I don't even care. It's gorgeous.

Yves Saint Laurent Studded Satchel - A lot of celebrities have been spotted with this one, but that's okay. I like the studs and how the YSL "logo" isn't super obnoxious. It could probably carry a lot of crap that I may or may not have on me at the time. I'm sure I could find something to fit in the giant bag. Also, I really like studs, trendy or not.

Marc by Marc Jacobs Petal to the Metal Sasha Hobo - Ever since I bought my first Marc by Marc Jacobs bag, I've really been in love with Marc Jacobs. Not sure if I'm blinded or if he's super amazing. Probably both. Like the first bag, the leather looks super soft and touchable. It's pretty simple and easy to wear on a daily basis. I'm not usually a fan of gold hardware, but I like it on this bag. Sheer proof that things don't have to be flashy to look good.

Celestina Espasol Copper Clutch - I found this gem on Net-a-Porter. No idea who Celestina is, or even if I would actually use it. But hey, if I'm rich, if it catches my eye in a good way, might as well buy it, right? The detail on this clutch is exceptional, and it's all done by hand. I don't have anything in my closet to match, but I'm sure I could buy an outfit or a million to go with it.

Be&D Studded Flap Baquette Clutch - Clutches are pretty nifty things and I like studs. Aesthetically appealing and fairly practical? I'm game.

Marc Jacobs Ostrich Stam - Okay, I absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this version of the Stam, and this says a lot. I don't like pink. I don't wear it, except maybe on my nails. I don't own it. I try not to look at it. But this one just captures my heart. And it also induced my love of ostrich leather. It looks so soft and touchable. I would curl up and sleep with it if I had one--remember, I am rich and if it gets ruined, I can just buy another one. I would carry it all the time. It's light enough to be a fairly neutral color. I will own one some day.

Tory Burch Studded Leather Bowling Bag - I really like Tory Burch's studded bag line. It's definitely a step away from her other lines with her logo emblazoned on the front. Again, this is an example of a fairly simple bag, with just the right amount of detail. And it's huge! Huge enough for me to stuff dead bodies in. I can even overlook the gold hardware; that's how much I like it.

Miu Miu Studded Leather Heart Purse - I don't know why they label this as a purse, because it looks like it can hardly handle coin responsibility, much less purse responsibility. Net-a-Porter doesn't show it with a model for size comparison, but it'd be safe to assume that the thing is tiny. It's super cute. Maybe I can put my chapstick in it or something. I can have a snazzy chapstick holder. Or bobby pins. I don't know. Still rad.

Marc by Marc Jacobs Petal to the Metal Flap Pouchette - See Marc by Marc Jacobs Petal to the Metal Sasha Hobo. I couldn't decide between the two, so I decided why not both. I think I like this one more than the Sasha Hobo. Not sure why though. Maybe because it only has one dove and is slightly smaller.

Alexander Wang Coco Mini Studded Leather Bag - This bag has also been a celebrity favorite, and it's been selling out almost instantly. It follows the studded big-ish bag trend. This picture is horrible at capturing it, but the entire bottom exterior of the bag is covered in little round studs. I think it's a cute little detail. Looks like a boring bag, but lift it up and BAM! studs galore.

Chloe Paraty Python Tote - Again, another highly coveted celebrity bag. I absolutely ADORE the exotic python skin. Amazing. Nothing else to say other than that.

Bottega Veneta San Marco Karung Leather Bag - I don't really like beige or whatever you would call that color, but forget that. The detail on this Bottega Veneta bag is AMAZING. Well, the detail on most Bottega Venetas are amazing, but I really, really, really like this one. The spiral weave is absolutely gorgeous. I would buy outfits revolving around this bag.

Alexander McQueen Faithful Studded Leather Glove Clutch - Alexander McQueen always has kooky, awesome designs. This clutch is one of them. It's pretty practical, and impractical at the same time. At least I would never lose it...

Bird Ostrich Mrs. Clutch - MMM. I love this one. For starters, it's ostrich. Have I mentioned that I love ostrich? Because I really love ostrich. I love the detailing in the leather. And I love how the flap is cut asymmetrically and jaggedy. It makes the clutch that much better 'cause most of them have clean lines. I wouldn't mind carrying this on me at all times.

Emanuel Ungaro Studded Leather Clutch - It has lots and lots of silver hardware and knickknacks, but it works because it's such a small thing. On any other bag, it would be tacky, gaudy, and completely overwhelming. I feel like this clutch would go with pretty much anything. Probably. And I love the little clasp lock it has.

Last but not least, the Gucci Galaxy Python Hobo - Um, can I just say WOW. I don't usually like Gucci, but right now, I really love Gucci. This bag is incredibly simple, but the beauty is in the python skin. Absolutely gorgeous. I just want to run my hands all over this bag feeling the awesome python-y texture. Maybe if given the chance, I would roll around naked all over a bed of this bag. Maybe. Probably not because I wouldn't want to do that to those poor bags. Anyway, I also like how it's not super slouchy, but not super structured either. I've found my soulmate.

Where are you, thousands of dollars? I need you right now, and this post is my proof.

Retail Therapy

Is the best therapy. Too bad I blew the spendable portion of my money on/during my Washington vacation. It's okay though 'cause it was worth it even if it leaves me longing for things that I don't need and/or can't reasonably afford. I did manage to snag a pair of Citizens of Humanity Avedon skinnies (original price $163) for $57.50 on sale at Macy's, some super cute Sanrio stationery, a super amazingly cute & fitting Free People Summer Breeze dress for $88 + free shipping after trying it on at Macy's and dying out of love/being sad about it having a stain--oh well, ShopBop ended up being cheaper, and an electric violet Marc by Marc Jacobs turnlock purse for $117. Gotta love Oregon's lack of sales tax.
Anyway, this post was pointless and I am tired/depressed.

THE COOLEST THING EVER!!!

I've been listening to this band, Disparaged, a lot lately. And by a lot I mean, nonstop on my MP3 player and laptop. They're so rad. Their latest album, "Wrath of God", sounds like what Bloodbath tried to do with the "Fathomless Mastery" mixed with some Amon Amarth-ish sounds here and there. Needless to say, I am in love.
I woke up in a fairly terrible mood today and I went to school. I came back and logged onto MySpace to a barrage of comments. MySpace is a cyber-shithole and hasn't been working at all lately, hence the many comments. One of them was from Disparaged. I couldn't see it because it contained HTML, but I clicked approve anyway, assuming that it was just some promotional stuff. Doesn't matter too much to me. Then I clicked on my comments page so I could respond to everyone, and I saw Disparaged's comment.


For once, it wasn't JUST a thanks for the add and banner and link... THEY COMMENTED ON MY YEARBOOK PHOTO!!! THEY COMMENTED ON MY YEARBOOK PHOTO!!! THEY COMMENTED ON MY YEARBOOK PHOTO!!! I KNEW that that photo would bring me some good some day. And that has made my entire day.

Here it is again.

One of My Dreams

Some day in a few years, you're going to see some Balenciaga/Chanel-toting bitch in Chanel sunglasses speeding/driving a red (hopefully) E30 convertible up & down Highway 1 while blasting some death metal (probably Bloodbath) aimlessly all day long. That's going to be me. And it's going to happen. Just you wait and see.

Current Obsessions

Christian Louboutin Pillow Clutch

Balenciaga Arena Giant Envelope Clutch

Alexander Wang Resort 2010

Louis Vuitton Resort 2010

Things That Are Cool & Things That Are Not Cool

Things That Are Cool
- Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
- seeing movies opening night
- water beds
- delicious food
- going to the beach
- painting my nails
- painting Mike's nails (lol)
- kisses
- boyfriend
- nice hair
- Taylor Swift
- Summer Slaughter
- Ben & Jerry's ice cream
- potential beer pong
- Dead Guy
- making money
- Facebook Scrabble (play me!)

Things That Are Not Cool
- allergies (not me)
- hot weather
- shitty weather for the coast
- being hungry
- crap hair
- fucking up painted nails
- people contacting me out of the blue under the pretense of wanting to hang out, except they only really need alcohol. Good thing I'm out of the state.
- my back hurting
- not playing volleyball for two weeks
- leaving in a few days
- going back to work
- school
- 3.44
- Facebook Scrabble

Ape Cave

Today, Brad and I went with Zane, Nathan, and Savannah to this place called Ape Cave up past Woodland. Brad told me that it was a lava tunnel. It was super awesome. Half of the cave is kind of boring and flat and you have to turn around once you reach the end. The other half of the cave is awesome and adventure-y. We walked the first half and back. Then we got to the entrance and decided to go through the second half. We climbed lots of giant piles of rocks and dodged giant rocks. There was one part where it was pretty much like rock climbing and it was cool!
It was also kind of freaky though. The cave was pitch black and ever since I saw the Descent, I've kind of been freaked out by caves. I was clutching Brad's hand for a good deal of the way and I made him walk behind me always.
Also, the cave is tricky because about 3/4 of the way through, there's an opening in the roof where you could potentially climb out but it is really wet and slippery. We walked by and two people threw things at us and laughed. I wanted to climb out like a badass and assault them, but I didn't because I am nice.
Awesome adventures are awesome.

Life in Washington

Yesterday, Brad and I went to the zoo to see the lions. We got jewed :( We were very sad. First, ticket prices went up FIFTY CENTS from when we were there April '08. Second, the lion exhibit wasn't open even though when we went in April, there was a sign that said it would be back Spring '09. And third, the primate exhibit was under construction too! HOW LAME IS THAT!!! We paid $10.50 to see not the entire zoo!!!
But that's okay because afterwards, Brad let me drag him around Washington Square Mall and through Macy's, Nordstrom, Aritzia, A&F, a giant F21 (not as big as SF, but close), Metropark, and Sanrio for a few hours. It was awesome! Surprisingly enough, I only purchased a shitload of stationery from Sanrio with NO SALES TAX. :( I didn't really like anything I tried on, or the selection of clothing. I was eyeing a few pairs of True Religions, but I decided against them... On second thought, maybe I should get them because there is NO SALES TAX. But then again, I can always get them from Revolve or something online with NO SALES TAX and FREE SHIPPING.
Sometimes I forget why I love my boyfriend so much, especially when we fight and stuff. But then we have days where he lets me practically torture him just so I can do something that makes me really happy, and I remember why: he'd go through practically anything to make me laugh and smile. Also, he cooks for me and that is awesome.

IM Championships

They're tonight.
Domes are going to be rocked.
Motherfuckers are going down.
I'm amping myself up times a million right now.
Niggers shall hang.
There will be blood.
I'm excited.

Also, there might be some Chipotle to be had.

This Weekend

In three words: wow interesting drunk/delicious steak YUM

On Friday, Fusty, Sean, Lauren and I, plus two drunk fat bitch friends of Fusty's (ew), went to Fusty's friends' house, aptly named the Bro House, way out in BFE. Nobody was there yet, including Bodhi and Eliot, the guys who live there, so we waited and we waited. The party was supposed to start around 8, and it was 9. Finally, the two guys showed up with alcohol, and Chris needed to go pick up his friend. We left the two drunk fat bitch friends and pile into Chris's POS Ford Focus and went to BFE Soquel to pick up Aaron. Aaron appears at his door with moustaches for all. The drive to BFE Soquel was forgiven. We pile back into the car and drive back to BFE. Drinks, dance, and conversation were had by all, except Chris, who was DD. Occasionally the drunk fat bitches appear out of nowhere to annoy everyone and have one hang on Chris, until he finally took them back up to campus. Then an hour later he showed up to pick the rest of us. But that was after a cop showed up at the party and was like WTF IDIOT NEIGHBOR FOR CALLING IN THIS CHILL AND MELLOW PARTY WTF. And that was my Friday night.
On Saturday night, Dave & Ben threw an end-of-the-year/this-is-our-last-weekend-together/douchefag-is-gone party. It was spent very drunk with varying degrees of annoyed/anger. It also resulted in me getting punched in the eye and scratched. Might I add, I did nothing to provoke it. Puke nights suck. Also people making me angry while I'm drunk thus causing me to drink more suck too. But Jager and tequila rock.
Tonight, I went home with Tim, Fusty, Lauren, and Sean and my parents made us steak. It was righteous, thick, juicy, and manly: everything a steak should be. We had ourselves a feast, and we played foosball.
Now I am here. Now I am going to bed.

Christian Louboutin for Rodarte

These shoes are ridiculous. I kind of want a pair.

Things That Make Me Excited

- making friends in college
- dance music
- dance party on Saturday with drank (drink 'n' my 2-step, anybody?)
- love/boyfriend
- going to bed NOW

Another List of Things I Love

- steak
- Costco hot dogs
- Costco samples
- beach
- beach volleyball
- kicking ass at beach volleyball
- friends' awesome parents
- unexpectedly beautiful weather
- love
- candy
- bacon
- DEMONS & FUCKING WIZARDS<3

Who Woulda Thought?

I've really come to love it here at Santa Cruz. I don't know what it is: the weather, the beach, the forest, the people, or maybe a combination of all four. Regardless, it rocks. And I've officially spent all weekend at the beach. Sweet!
Also, I really love sitting around naked. In my room, of course. There's nothing like a cold shower and nudity, consecutively, of course.