Is it me...

or does this Chanel purse look like a ballsack?

"Chanel continues to be the go-to designer for style, elegance, and timeless pieces that will last a lifetime."
Orly? Testicles don't really evoke the Chanel standard of style or elegance. Timeless, yes, but honestly, this just evokes many lolz from me. Of course, the shape and design of this bag won't stop people from buying this because they'd rather own something Chanel than not, and the price tag of these leather balls is a lot cheaper than one of their more classic styles. I am super excited to see people toting these around because I will probably die laughing!

Explain This

I bought one of those 24-packs of single American cheese slices from Safeway. You know, the kind where they're individually wrapped for burgers and things. The first time I used them was last weekend when Brad was here. I put two on my breakfast burger, and I ate one because I was really hungry. I noticed that I've had a bunch missing since then even though I've only eaten three. I ate two or three more on Sunday when I made myself some food, but not enough to get rid of over half the bag. Today, I opened up the fridge and noticed that there was only five left. Annoyed with people constantly eating my food, I put it in a ziploc bag that said "Please buy your own cheese and stop eating mine." Not a big deal, right? If you don't eat my food, you don't notice, or you don't say anything because you don't eat it. I came back to poke through the fridge after my math class today and it had a note on it that said "Chill out, nobody is eating your food."
If nobody is eating my food, why do I only have FIVE slices of cheese left when I should have about 18 or 19? I would know if I ate it, not to mention I've cooked twice in this kitchen since I've gotten the damn cheese.
If nobody is eating my food, why do you bother putting a note on it? In fact, why are you even fucking around with my food? You don't eat it? Cool. Not a big deal. You ignore it and go on with your day. You don't have to try to cover up for yourself and say nobody is eating my food. Because somebody is eating my food. It doesn't mysteriously disappear and dispose of itself. And I haven't eaten any of it. Dumb bitch.
I'm so glad I'm getting a mini-fridge. I might just take some of her stuff and tell her nobody is eating her food.

Question

Why am I up at 4:30 in the morning? Oh, because the stupid girls I live with decided to vacuum at one in the morning, then begin to throw a noisy ass party. Then around 4 in the morning, the three girls responsible decide to start shrieking at the top of their lungs because one of the other girls' hamsters got loose and was running around. I kid you not, SHRIEKING at the top of their lungs.
I really think that I just need to live by myself or something because I can't do this.

Thank God It's the Weekend! Sorta.

I have a feeling that this quarter is going to be like this week for the rest of the quarter: long, boring, and stressful. I'm glad it's the weekend! Except for the fact that I'm using it to catch up on chem homework and a lab report. Cool! And to study for my bullshit Music from Latin America: Cultural and Regional Traditions class, aka reading approximately 200 pages of a smelly, trashed book that I don't care about.
Some of my friends are throwing a party tonight and I think I will go, except I don't really feel like drinking. It'll be fun to talk massive shit and attempt to get everyone else super trashed so I can laugh at them (a la Nate over Thanksgiving break :P).
Tomorrow I'm going to the beach! I'm excited. I think it's a bit cold outside, but that's okay. At least I won't need to wear socks on the sand like I did last weekend. And this is exciting! This marks the third weekend in a row that I'm going to the beach. BALLIN'. Haha. Oh, and then afterwards, we are driving to Chipotle! Woo! I haven't had real Chipotle in ages. I mean, my parents brought me some once, but it wasn't the same.
Also, I really hate when people ask me to compromise my integrity because it puts me into a really awkward situation. I won't ring you up for alcohol unless I know you're 21. I don't care if you have a fake that swipes. I don't care if I'm going to your party tonight. I like my friends, but I won't risk my job over something as trivial as them needing alcohol. I won't pretend to check their IDs and then enter in a different date because that's something I'm not comfortable with. I hate when people ask. Maybe I have a stick up my ass or something, but at the same time, I could get into a hell of a lot of trouble for doing so. I'd really prefer not to.

A Random Thought

Consider this situation: A husband and a wife have a baby boy. When the boy is old enough to sexually perform, he has sex with his mother. His mother gets pregnant and has the baby. What is the baby's relationship to the boy, his mother, and his father? What would the family tree even look like?

I was walking back to my apartment from the bookstore today with my friend, and somehow this came into conversation. Probably because we were talking about your mom jokes. It's an odd thought. Or at least I think it's odd. If you're grossed out, pretend that you never read this post.

Today feels perfect for rolling over in my grave and dying. It is deathly hot outside. I am tired. I am sweaty. I am behind on all my schoolwork. I am trying to get myself together after Brad left and it's not working.
This is going to be an insanely long week.

Life Right Now

Chemistry is raping me intensely. I do not enjoy it. What the hell are s-orbitals, p-orbitals, d-orbitals, f-orbitals, and g-orbitals? How do you draw them and why do they look like obnoxious bubbles? What do the little xyz things mean? Stuff like that. I just finished my chemistry homework, and it stuck baseball-sized anal beads up my ass and pulled them out excruciatingly painfully. Awesome. It is now 3AM and my sleep schedule is beyond fucked. Also, my chem lab isn't too bad, but people are kind of stupid. Myself, included at times. I, however, am capable of doing my calculations properly, thus not fucking over the group I work with. Also, good thing my lab partner is a near genius (well, at least in relation to me and chemistry) and can answer all idiotic questions I have on those little measuring thingies with like two rulers, kind of like one of those scales at the doctor's office, I don't remember what its called, and pycnometry, and any other nonsense Randa Roland/Ryan Garcia tosses our way. Lab is time consuming though, and that equates to rape of my day. Chemistry = rape.
Calculus is not raping me... yet? I still have one section of calc homework to do, but I figure that I can figure it out sometime between 12:10PM and 5:00PM when it is due. Yes. My professor wears the same outfit everyday and my friends talk entirely too much. It is difficult to pay attention in class when the people next to you are talking about cocks and balls, and I am pondering fashion choices. Homework is kind of long though. This could possibly be implications of rape in the future.
Music from Latin America is the worst class on the face of the planet. I have not done any of the ~200 page readings that he restates in class. Today, my professor had a medical emergency, so instead we watched a documentary on Brazilian spirit possession. The only thing that possessed me was sleep, but it was semi-difficult because of the crazed whoops and "possessed" people spazzing out on screen. Cool. Not really.
Volleyball is semi-raping me, but only because I play a lot of it which leaves less time to devote to above three classes+lab. I don't have much else to say about this. I do love volleyball though!

Okay, now I need to go to sleep.