Monday, April 27, 2009

Explain This

I bought one of those 24-packs of single American cheese slices from Safeway. You know, the kind where they're individually wrapped for burgers and things. The first time I used them was last weekend when Brad was here. I put two on my breakfast burger, and I ate one because I was really hungry. I noticed that I've had a bunch missing since then even though I've only eaten three. I ate two or three more on Sunday when I made myself some food, but not enough to get rid of over half the bag. Today, I opened up the fridge and noticed that there was only five left. Annoyed with people constantly eating my food, I put it in a ziploc bag that said "Please buy your own cheese and stop eating mine." Not a big deal, right? If you don't eat my food, you don't notice, or you don't say anything because you don't eat it. I came back to poke through the fridge after my math class today and it had a note on it that said "Chill out, nobody is eating your food."
If nobody is eating my food, why do I only have FIVE slices of cheese left when I should have about 18 or 19? I would know if I ate it, not to mention I've cooked twice in this kitchen since I've gotten the damn cheese.
If nobody is eating my food, why do you bother putting a note on it? In fact, why are you even fucking around with my food? You don't eat it? Cool. Not a big deal. You ignore it and go on with your day. You don't have to try to cover up for yourself and say nobody is eating my food. Because somebody is eating my food. It doesn't mysteriously disappear and dispose of itself. And I haven't eaten any of it. Dumb bitch.
I'm so glad I'm getting a mini-fridge. I might just take some of her stuff and tell her nobody is eating her food.


Benjamin said...

you should just spike it with something awful, like a laxative or something. I'm sure you can come up with something - then think about it! not only will she be embarrassed for lying, she'll probably have to ask for your help when she's busy crapping her pants

Paulina said...

I was thinking that too! :)