Showing posts with label ew. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ew. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Common Sense

It never ceases to amaze me how some people have so little common sense, and are completely clueless about the world around them. Not even in the educated sense, just in the what the EFF were you thinking sense.
Take this guy who I will call J, J for Jewish. We used to be okay friends because I was blinded by x (whatever x is). Not anymore because he has slowly managed to piss me off and the rest of the people we live with.
It's not like he's ever done anything big to really aggravate me, but everything little he does slowly accumulates into a giant pile of WTF IS GOING THROUGH YOUR BRAIN!

Incident 1. He keeps a list of how much money people owe him for whatever reason. Doesn't seem like a big deal, right? Wrong. I was on there for fifty cents. FIFTY CENTS. And he wanted it before Thanksgiving. What are you going to go do with that fifty cents? Go Black Friday shopping? Good luck if that even covers your tax.

Incident 2. This was right before winter break after we all agreed to clean the apartment before we left so it didn't sit there developing more filth on top of filth for a month.
Me: Hey J. Did you clean the bathroom before you leave?
J: No.
Me: Why not?
J: There were no paper towels.
Me: Why do you need paper towels? We have sponges.
J: So I can wipe everything up.
Me: Use a sponge?
J: I'll clean it when I get back. Bye.

Seriously? Why the hell do you need paper towels to clean a bathroom? In all of my years of cleaning bathrooms, I have only needed paper towels to Windex mirrors. Provided I was feeling unlazy enough to Windex the mirrors, but that's a different story. Why do you need paper towels to wipe things up? A sink has a faucet where water comes out. People wash their hands; some flail hands wildly. No need for a paper towel because the counter or sink will get wet again. The shower? Same story. The toilet is debatable, but I live in an apartment with four (three at the time) guys. What are the chances of them needing to dump immediately after me cleaning the toilet so the water will not have evaporated? Very slim. Lazy ass prick.

Incident 3. We all agreed to purchasing a bunch of items for our apartment this quarter because we ran out of everything we bought at the beginning of the year. His task was to purchase SOAP, as in hand SOAP. He came home one day, very proud or something, with his soap. I looked at it, saw that it was hand sanitizer, and put it in the closet, because we don't really need hand sanitizer. Sounds okay, right? Wrong. He flipped out because his "soap" was missing. He searched high and low throughout the entire apartment for it, and finally found it in the closet. He griped about it being there. Then proceeded to unpackage it and put it next to the sink. I saw the hand sanitizers out a few days later and put them back in the closet, because you know, they aren't soap. He noticed and griped some more.

Is it really that difficult to distinguish between soap and hand sanitizer? I mean, even if you just glance at the label sanitizer is clearly a longer word. You can't even use hand sanitizer with water, because that's not what it's for! So dumb!

Incident 4. I was talking to my roommate, Alexis. He told me that this morning he needed to print some papers, so he asked J. J was busy so he told Alexis to wake me up so I can print his papers. What the heck? How difficult is it to print a few sheets of paper? Why do you have to wake up someone who is SLEEPING to print a few sheets of paper? And especially considering the fact that I have gotten minimal amounts of sleep for the past few weeks. But of course J wouldn't know that because he sits in his room with the door closed and locked, and hardly sees the light of day.

Incident 5. My other roommate, Alexis, and I are currently thawing a chicken in the plugged (read: PLUGGED, not clogged. PLUGGED) sink. J went to go do his dishes that had pasta sauce and stuff all over it. He took the chicken out of the sink. He did not unplug it, and went about doing his dishes. I emerged from my room to do something and I looked inside the kitchen sink. The water resembled watered down blood with little basil bits floating on top and oil here and there. Needless to say, I was not very pleased because I don't like dirty and disgusting things.

I unplugged the sink and scrubbed all the pasta residue off, then went to confront J about it. I asked him that if the sink was plugged (plugged, not clogged!) the next time he needed to wash whatever to unplug it and then proceed. He told me that the sink was not plugged. What the heck! I plugged the sink, filled it with water and plopped a chicken in it. And it was still very obviously plugged after he did his dishes. How could he NOT see it? He had to take a chicken out of a sink filled with water. How was the water in there? Magic? Then he told me that there was no pasta residue. Again, WTF! No pasta residue, my ass. Pasta sauce has things in it like basil, and oil. Tell me again that there was no pasta residue because I scrubbed that stuff off the sink. THEN he told me that he was waiting for the sink to drain. How is the sink supposed to drain if it's plugged? On top of that, you SAW the drain through the clear water after you took the chicken out. Can drains be clogged if they are empty? No. Of course not unless you have magical powers, which he very well does not have because he couldn't magically drain the sink. I told him again that there was a plug in there and to next time take it out. His response? "We have plugs for the sink?" No, dude. We just have five thousand sink parts lying around for whatever reason. Hello??? The two plugs have been sitting next to the faucet for the entire duration of us living in this apartment. We have two catcher things for food waste, and two plugs. Idiot.

At times I feel like I'm living with a five year old. I shouldn't have to talk to people about these things. It's not that hard. Ugh.

Monday, October 5, 2009

...what?

Okay, not gonna lie. I spend probably 80% of my time on the internet (pretend) online shopping, mostly because I don't have any money/I can't spend anymore money. Otherwise I'd have clothes out the wazoo. Anyway, back to the point... I was browsing around on ShopBop today and I somehow stumbled across these Siwy Sophie Skinny Jeans. They're like a reverse mullet, but in denim form. And they are $242.
WHAT. THE. HECK. Those jeans are TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY TWO DOLLARS. Can they even be considered jeans? Is there even enough denim to qualify them as jeans? Why would you want random mesh on your legs anyway?
You could pretty much achieve the same look with footless tights and a pair of shorts or denim cutoffs or something AND you could save a crapton of money. How can you justify paying $242 for these when you aren't even getting a full premium denim product?! I can pretend to justify paying $150+ for jeans because I've definitely done that before. But paying $240 for three quarters of a pair?! Absolutely ridiculous. I hate clothes. We should all run around naked.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Not Sure if I Should Laugh or Cry, Pt. II

Brad and I went to WinCo (the place I hate the most in the world because it ate my coupon for a free candy bar) the other day. He was getting something, and I was just chillin' by our shopping cart when I was approached by an old man.

This is what went down:

Old Man: How old are you?
Me: *looks around nervously*
Old Man: How old are you? Are you twenty?
Me: *sees Brad* Um... Brad. BRAD!
Old Man: Are you twenty? Are you twenty?
Brad: Excuse me, can I help you?
Old Man: How old is she? Is she twenty?
Brad: She is nineteen. What does it matter to you?
Old Man: I just wanted to know how old she is! Are you fifteen?
(Brad & I exit the aisle by maneuvering our shopping cart away as fast as possible)

I got hit on by another old man within the span of three days. :( If you have to ask someone how old s/he is, you're probably too old to be hitting on him/her. Or anyone else really. No more creepers pleaseeee.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Not Sure if I Should Laugh or Cry

I've been going to the Campbell Recreation Center with my friend, Alex the Indian, to play volleyball lately. It's pretty fun. There's a weird crowd there, and there are a lot of old people. The last time we went, we got put on this team with this weird old guy who sort of resembled my old karate teacher, Jim Mathers, except not really.

Anyway, today, Alex the Indian disappeared somewhere and I was sitting on a bench drinking water. The weird old guy approached me and we had a conversation that went like this:

Old Man: Where did you get those legs from?
Me: *baffled look*
Old Man: Which parent did you get your long legs from?
Me: *extremely baffled look* What?
Old Man: Didn't get your legs from your immediate family?
Me: *confused looking around for Alex the Indian* Uh... *awkward laugh*
(cue Alex the Indian walking towards me)
(Old Man walks away)

I got hit on by a sixty-ish year old man. I'm not really sure what to think about it. It is mildly entertaining, but also very, very sad, both for me and him. Why do I always get creeped on? :(

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Very Eventful

Tonight, I sat in the bathroom and listened to someone fart for five minutes. It was... joyous.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Things I Think Are Funny (Another Ever Expanding, Semi-Mean List)

- when ugly people think they're hot shit
- when people think leggings equate to pants
- when fat people wear leggings
- when fat people wear skintight clothes and wonder why everyone is staring at them. Hint, it's the rolls.
- when people try to pretend they don't have a body looking like a rectangle
- when people complain that they gain weight, but they don't do anything to prevent that

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Things I Hate (An Ever Expanding List)

- unnecessary levels of stress
- unnecessary stressors
- not sleeping
- stuffy rooms
- massive amounts of work
- being tired/exhausted all the time
- falling asleep everywhere
- drama
- midterms
- drums from the upstairs
- bathrooms with little ventilation
- dry weather, and subsequently, dry skin
- work
- studying
- not getting classes that I want to take
- days feeling like Thursday or Friday when it's only Monday or Tuesday, or even Sunday
- CVS
- Longs for rejecting my time off request even though I don't have a place to live so I can work thus causing unnecessary stress
- raccoons
- pubic hairs on toilet seats or in showers
- nasty hairs in showers
- things falling apart
- lack of cellphone
- lack of cellphone reception
- dirty, sweaty men in my bed
- being hungry
- not having a football team
- seeing penises, boobies, and hairy cooters and things related to that (ie. carpet munching), even if they are just images in a book I'm supposed to read.
- Kresge Core
- Documenting Oral History
- babies

Sunday, November 9, 2008

My Davis Adventure

On the way to Davis
- I sat next to an annoying baby plus hippie mother on Bus 16 - Laurel East to the Santa Cruz Metro. The baby pulled its mom shirt down and started sucking on the boob. It then tried to grab me and touch me. It also bit the rubber part around the window and drooled all over it. Fucking babies.
- There was a lot of traffic. When there was finally minimal amounts of traffic, I told Ryan to haul ass. He drove 75 mph.

At Davis
- Meher, Hermes, Katherine, Ryan, RJ & I got really drunk. Really, really drunk.
- I wrote a song for Neri Lubomirsky. It is amazing. Hopefully I will remember it around Thanksgiving so I can sing it for everyone!
- I finished off OVER half a fifth of Jager. Ballin'!
- I beat Arjun up for being a dumbass.
- I played Gears of War 2! Good thing my roommate, Paul, taught me how to play before I left.
- I went to my first college football game as a college student. Kind of.

Back from Davis
- My mom refuses to replace the rum she took from me.
- She took me out for Chinese food. YUM.
- I miss everyone a lot already. And I don't like Santa Cruz very much, even though it's still kind of fun. Someone keeps moving my stuff around, ie. stacking my shoe boxes and clearing my bookshelf. I know I didn't do it because I always keep my Uggs on top of them when I'm there, and I never stack my shit. Nor do I keep anything clean. Lame.
- I miss everyone.
- I miss everyone.
- I miss everyone.
- I'll be back for Thanksgiving break on Tuesday night. HANG OUT PLZ? When will everyone else be back?

Strangely enough, this was the most fun I've had since college started. Epic fail. (Wow, I used almost all of my tags in this post.)

Monday, October 20, 2008

No Life

The best thing about being SO FAR away at college is that people think I can just drop everything to pop back home randomly on weekdays. Not like I don't have classes or any obligations or anything. Next time anything happens to me, I'll make sure that they come immediately. Not like they don't have obligations or anything, right?

On a random note, or several random notes...
The FedEx guy at Longs gave me a mini pumpkin today!
I found a third tree sitter, hidden mysteriously above me. I always wondered why that orange cone was there. Now, I know why!
I saw a guy on a bike get hit by a car last week! I forgot to blog about it.
In my Documenting Oral History class, there's a girl whose lower half of her face looks like the Joker's. NOT EVEN KIDDING. It even moves similarly. It sort of freaks me out, a lot. I always stared at her oddly in class to try and figure it out. Now I have.
I hate buses and missing them. Yesterday, a bus left me behind. Today, I was more assertive and I banged violently on the door, and the bus stopped and let me on. Then some guy made fun of me. It's not my fault the stop lights don't change fast enough.

Watch this video. It's very insightful.



In fact, check this shit out. Your life will change. Not gonna lie. www.mrchicity.com

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Idiots

One thing I have never understood is why people who are under the impression that they listen to metal think that it's okay to talk down to me when I ask them what type of metal they listen to. Seriously, I had two conversations today that went like this:

Me: Oh hi! You lyk da metalz?
Metalhead Who Thinks He's Such a Badass (MWTHSABA): Yes. (grunt, snott,y rich bitch sort of look)
Me: What type of metal are you into?
MWTHSABA: The GOOD kind. (grunt, snort, more snotty, rich bitch looks)
Me (rolling my eyes in my head): Like what?
MWTHSABA: Like Killswitch Engage, dude. Or Dimmu Borgir! Yeah man, Pantera and shit.
Me: Right.

Are you fucking serious? Are you really going to pretend that you are so elite when the first band you name is Killswitch Engage? You are really going to talk to me, the Gore Princess, like I'm some idiot who doesn't know shit, and tell me that the most metalz of all metalz is Killswitch fucking Engage. You need to be kicked in the dick.
Fucking idiots who don't know shit. Negative metal points for you.

Also, today at Longs I met this fat Mexican guy in a Decrepit Birth. I was like oh hello, fat Mexican, you like Decrepit Birth? Then he told me no. His wife bought it for him in Davenport. I was :(

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Delicious

Today, I was in the 9/10 Dining Hall, and I saw Militza's asscheeks. It was somewhat horrifying.
Yes, I do think this topic deserves it's own post, purely because of the shock and scare factor.
Also, this is along the same vein. I had to clean the bathroom with the shower today with Jeremy. He already cleaned the toilet and the counters, so I was stuck with the shower. I found lots of pubes. Nasty.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Drunk

Yes. Awesome. Ballin'. Cool.
There is a fatty here. And she is disgusting. I think I will throw her out. But I am afraid her cellulite and jiggles will infect me. She keeps showing her asscrack. I want to throw up, and not because of alcohol. I think I will make a new apartment rule. No fatties allowed.

Edit: Holy shit. Fuck the fatty. She's wasted and wailing and crawling on the floor with her pants off. It is disgusting. Everyone is trying to put her to bed so they don't have to deal with it. She is putting a great amount of resistance. I think what they need to do is clobber her a few times so she passes out. Then they can throw her outside for the 'coons. Holy shit. I can fucking hear her and my door is closed and I am dancing by myself to Tyga's Coconut Juice. Jagermeister is the world's greatest liquor. I will go have another shot to rid myself of this horridness.

No, I am not a bitch. I am stating the truth. You would be saying the same thing.

Day 22 (10/10/08): Taylor! I met him on the bus a few days ago actually. He was in a Kreator shirt. He has BIG, POOFY HAIR. He listens to all metal but he likes thrash the best. I am burning him "Swansong". :) Benny. I chased him into a nerd shop (who am I to speak? I listen to metal... and at this moment, the nerdiest metal of all, power metal) because I saw an Anthrax shirt and long hair. He kind of listens to metal. A lot of thrash. Does Santa Cruz just attract thrash kids?

Total: 19
Legit Total: 13