5 More Days

Until I'm out of here. Thank the Lawd.

Break Thus Far

- work at CVS ~> hate Indian, Russian, Asian, and coupon people
- work at Moffet Field ~> more intensely hate fat, non-hygienic, stupid people
- gym ~> hate fat people, smelly people, fat people who think it's okay for them to wear tight clothing, and people who wear granny panties and tight pants
- internet ~> hate procrastinating
- parents' house ~> hate my bed, not having space, annoying family shit

So much hate. Oh well.

An Update on Why I Don't Update

I don't really have much to say. I've been pretty busy as well. Life is the same shit, different day. I'm sure you all know how it goes. And on top of that, I've had a lot of stress from various things and people that I've been trying to deal with. I don't know why, but as of late, I've become very closed and withdrawn. I find it hard to trust others with my insecurities, deep thoughts, and problems, so I divulge very little. I don't really know who I can talk to anymore, so I simply don't talk. On top of that, I've never felt comfortable telling others about my issues; it's my thing to deal with and I don't think that they should have to carry that burden as well. This is probably not good and contributes to my sleepless nights, but I feel more comfortable and safe that way. I don't know. But that explains my disappearance.
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving, and I'll hopefully see you in a few weeks?
Also the new Chris Brown is pretty ill. LOL. Been listening to it nonstop.

Noteworthy (& Unnoteworthy) Weekend Moments

- Edibles. Wow. While drunk, extra wow.
- Flesh Consumed is awesome. Also, apparently the vocalist, Alex Colon, used to do vocals for Dead Syndicate<3 as well. And the drummer also plays for Brain Drill. He added me on MySpace. I felt special.
- My friend's band, Disengorified, has a long way to go. Their MySpace sounds are deceiving.
- I have no reason to listen to Cattle Decapitation after last night's show. Don't really listen to them in the first place, but I am extra turned off now. Texting on stage and closing the show (after only playing four songs as the HEADLINER) with "We have one more song because we want to GTFO." is really rude. Also the vocalist is kind of gross. Spitting all over himself, the stage, and the drum set is not attractive.
- Bacon wrapped scallops on lettuce with avocado, and a mayonnaise-Sriracha sauce is absolutely delicious. Thanks, Alex Lou.
- Setting the smoke detector, and eventually the fire alarm off while making said food.
- Feeder fish look awfully cute swimming around in a toilet bowl. Yes, I put feeder fish in a toilet bowl to be flushed. They are in the process of dying. I figured toilet bowl water would be more heavenly than dying in a Tupperware bowl filled with their feces and two week old water. I envisioned a more sanitary death...
- My male roommates and some friends urinated on the fish. Poor fish. So much for sanitarily dying.

I'm So Awkward

My friends and I were leaving our intramural game today, and we managed to catch a bus from the gym to 9/10 for food. The bus was unnaturally stuffy, and at a stop, some guy got on the bus and commented on how unnaturally stuffy and hot it was. Before I knew it, the words "You should take off all your clothes" flew out of my mouth. You know, in reference to that Nelly song, "Hot in Herrrrre" (I always forget how many "R"'s there are). The dude then proceeded to talk to me/everyone around us about how he actually enjoys taking his clothes off and how he is frequently taking his clothes off. Needless to say, it was a very awkward bus ride, and my friends could not stop cracking up. Thankfully, our stop was next and I frantically clawed my way through the mob to exit the bus... as he called out after me to enjoy taking my clothes off or something. Never remarking to strangers again.

Halloween Weekend Recap

Halloween Weekend started on Thursday night for me with Orctoberfest! Nekrogoblikon & a Band of Orcs played a show in Santa Cruz at the Vet's Hall. It was super awesome because I have not seen them since May of 2008, and Tim&Ash stayed at my apartment. They put on an amazing show! Their setlist (which I managed to score. Sooo difficult :P) was They Came from Space, Goblins are Better than Trolls, Bears, Army of Goblins, Nekropolis, In the Hall of the Goblin King, Return to the Sky, the Bog, Goblins Ahoy!, and Invasion. Lots of stuff off their new album to be out soon? It was super cool. I was up front the entire time, headbanging, growling & singing my butt off. A Band of Orcs were pretty cool. I missed most of their set because I was outside with Nekrogoblikon, but I did manage to catch two songs, including a cover of Amon Amarth's "Pursuit of Vikings"! I was standing on the side and watching, but when the opening riffs of the song nabbed my attention, naturally, I had to jump in the front and be METAL! The other three bands were alright. The best of the three was Falling to Pieces who were calling themselves a Band of Dorks that night. I don't really remember much about their set, except that they had clean vocals randomly (disliked that) and the vocalist kept talking about her cock and how big it was and how people should suck it. I thought that was very unbecoming. Also, I managed to snag her fake glasses from the show. After the show, Tim, Ash, Nicky, Alex L. from MV, and I went back to my place for some snacks and beers. It was coolz.
Friday night was incredibly epic. My friend, Ian, and I adventured to Oakland, subsequently getting lost because Oakland sucks, to see another one of my most favorite bands, ever, Ghoul! It was my second time seeing them, and boy, it was awesome despite nearly getting crushed by a stage diver, and getting kicked in the head by a stage diver. It was well worth it. And did I mention I also got the set list? Ghoul always puts on a great show, even with technical difficulties. Ross Sewage, excuse me, Cremator's bass pedal decided to not work. Killbot somehow unplugged Digestor's guitar? Regardless, the show was AMAZING. They played As Your Casket Closes, Merde!, Numbskull, Mutant Mutilator, Roadkill, Maniaxe, Graveyard Mosh, Off With Their Heads (new song!), Rise Killbot Rise, Gutbucket Blues, Kids in America, and Splatterthrash as an encore. Also, I had the privilege of seeing Cannabis Corpse, a marijuana-y parody of Cannibal Corpse. They put on a fun show as well, and had a giant bud running around on stage. It was also Brainoil's comeback show, however, they are not really up my alley, therefore I have nothing to say. They weren't too bad. And there were two other bands; the first was pretty terrible, but the second wasn't too bad. They were fun, even though they only had a guitarist & drummer. The guitarist/vocalist cracked a lot of jokes and talked about weed a lot. It was interesting.
Saturday was Halloween! I woke up at about 4 in the afternoon. In my defense, I haven't been sleeping well at all lately and it wasn't like I actually slept until 4. It was a more of a dozing on and off type slumber that ended at 4PM, so I'm not that lazy. I sat around doing nothing for a few hours, waiting to leave for my friend's party until I found out they left at five so that nullified those plans. I was getting ready to bus it to the party when I got wind that they were leaving? That made me mad because it was like I got ready for nothing! Then another one of my friends called me and said she was coming to pick me up to take me to the party so I was like cool! The party was pretty chill. I didn't really eat anything all day so it didn't take much for me to get drunk. I played some drunken foosball and dominated (naturally). Then a bunch of us took a drunktrekadventure to Taco Bell that was about a mile? away. I somehow found myself at Safeway with one of my metal buddies buying bacon and bread so we could make bacon sandwiches. We went back to his house where we made bacon sandwiches! and listened to metal while he tried to smoke me out. (I declined because marijuana & alcohol do not mix for me.) Finally around 2 in the morning I made him walk me back to my other friend's party up a giant hill. It was horrible. And by the time I got back, everyone was asleep somehow. I managed to talk someone into giving me a ride back up to campus and all was well.

WOW, You're REALLY Idiots

I just got back from my chemistry lab. I hate chem lab, I really, really do. Chemistry sucks. My lab partners used to suck, but not anymore because I switched. My TA is cool, but his English sucks. Chem lab sucks. Anyway, today sucked as well. It involved a lot of waiting, and a lot of waiting. The experiment was split into three parts, and partners paired up with other partners to split up the parts so people had to do less work.
There was only one group in the entire class doing the last part. It looked like they'd finished, so I went to ask them about their results. They told me that they didn't finish. I asked them why because they were at the tables away from the lab area. They told me that their spectrometer (a device used to measure %T at various wavelengths) did not work so they threw away all their results. They told me that their SPECTROMETER DID NOT WORK SO THEY THREW AWAY ALL OF THEIR SOLUTIONS. ONE spectrometer out of TEN in the class did not work; it happened to be theirs so they THREW AWAY ALL OF THEIR SOLUTIONS. Has the absurdity of this action sunk in yet?
What type of inept retards do you have to be to throw away your solutions because the machine that you happen to be using is not functioning? What type of incompetent idiots do you have to be to not have the thought cross your mind that maybe you could use one of the other ten million spectrometers in the class? What type of complete dumbasses are you to not have common fucking sense pass through your brain? What type of inconsiderate assholes are you to simply throw away solutions that could be put in a different spectrometer so that the entire class can have results?
SERIOUSLY, what the HELL. It's cool if everyone had results. Whatever, your loss. It's a little bit more cool if someone else had done your part and you decided that you are too stupid to use another spectrometer and will instead copy their results. But it's not cool because you made everyone wait, and you made someone else do the part of the experiment to compensate for your complete fucking retarded, incompetent minds.
How are you even in college if you can't think of using another machine? How are you in college if you something so incredibly simple does not pass your mind? When your car runs out of gas, do you junk it because it "doesn't work"? When your computer crashes, do you throw it away because it "doesn't work"? If you can't figure out a calculation, do you just stop because it "doesn't work"? If your cellphone battery dies, do you throw your cellphone away because it is "broken"? If your pencil runs out of lead, or the lead breaks, or the point is dull, do you toss it because it "doesn't work"? Why is it then okay for you to throw away a bunch of solutions because your spectrometer doesn't work?
You're fucking idiots. I hope you get hit by a bus.

Death

I'm at a point in my life where I want to strangle everyone I come into contact with. Maybe it's the stress. I don't really care. It does not matter who you are or how we are connected. Don't touch me. Don't talk to me. Don't even look at me. Leave me alone. I don't like you and I hope you die.

Volleyball: The Good and the Bad

The last time I blogged about volleyball, it was going pretty great. Now, it's a mixed bag. I've been taking the advanced volleyball class for a few quarters now just for funsies and some exercise. This quarter there are way more guys than there are girls, and in quarters past, it's been the opposite. This quarter, there are also way more people who think they know how to play volleyball when they really don't or they think they can play with the big kids. This results in the non-advanced players getting completely beat up on and lowering the level of play. So what does Selene do? She split the class up today into boys and girls. The last time she did that, I tried to sneak off to be a man, but I was reprimanded and sent to the girls. Today, I didn't even try and just accepted defeat, tucked my tail between my legs, and braced myself for a frustrating hour and a half of class. Frustrating does not even begin to describe it when people are too inept to pass a ball coming directly at them, much less dropping within a one foot radius. Frustrating does not even begin to describe it when a set is someone bumping the ball up randomly. Frustrating does not even begin to describe it when someone shanks easy balls, so I gave up trying and spent the rest of the time trying to control my anger.
Today, however, did turn around when I went to go play intramurals with my new team. We kicked ass. And by kicked ass, I meant we completely dominated, and we have a very good chance of winning league. It was great. My friend, Alex, blocked about ten balls the first game which put us way ahead. I scored the game winning point by ripping a ball at my friend, Dave, and it got caught with him on his way down from the block. The second game, I served a good ten points, leaving the score 21-11 when we sided out. We won that game about 25-14? It was awesome. I didn't think it would be so, playing with people that I've never played with, and getting used to someone else's sets. We all worked together really well as a team, and I can sense that there's going to be no drama, and no people to hate this quarter. The terribleness of this morning has been rectified.

I Hate the Internet

I just finished my first of three midterms, so I think I am allowed to actually dabble around the internet now. Not that I wasn't in between sentences of reading my chemistry book and in between chemistry problems. I hate the internet. It prevents me from being productive. Correction, it prevents me from being effectively productive. I like reading fashion blogs and sometimes I get so hooked that I end up sitting for hours going through archives ooh-ing and ahh-ing. And then I'll see something I like which leads me to my second I hate the internet reason: I can't stop (pretend) online shopping! That in turn lead me to staying up till 3 in the morning for that past two nights while studying. At least I found some cool stuff...
Antik Batik embellished draped wool dress, Camilla Skovgaard satin chain-embellished sandals, Bottega Veneta Intreccatio-effect ring, and of course, Bottega Veneta stud-embellished Intreccatio clutch. I like the juxtaposition of hard and soft (that's what she said?), feminine, yet edgy, etc. etc. because that pretty much embodies who I am. I love metal, but I'm not some crazy Goth-ed out chick, and tossing little metal elements in here and there. The shoes (and I guess the ring) balance out the super girly-ness of the dress and clutch.
Okay, not going to lie, I'm picking all these outfits out based on the clutches. I don't know why, but I tend to gravitate towards purses when I browse online. You can never have too many! Well, you can never have too many clothes, shoes, or purses... Anyway, my main point was I pick outfits around bags. Clicking through Barney's, I found this Derek Lam Elsa python clutch, and it practically stopped my heart. The scales absolutely pop. I love the asymmetrical design of the clutch. And I don't really like yellow, but the color looks absolutely amazing on the Elsa python. There's a black python version as well, but the color didn't do justice for the skin. The clutch is paired with an Herve Leger dress, Christian Louboutins, and Oscar de la Renta earrings.

A Debut

I mentioned previously that I made my first venture into the designer handbag world. This baby has been hiding in its dust bag in the Nordstrom bag that I brought it home in until this past weekend when I decided that I needed some Marc by Marc Jacobs in my life. So I brought it out to play! I'd been drooling over the gorgeous electric violet color all summer when I first got a peek at Nordstrom.com. When sheer luck brought me to find this on sale in Oregon, well, I couldn't resist. I clutched it gleefully as I made my way around the handbag department in the Nordstrom in Clackamas, Oregon, and it would not leave my hands. I just had to have it.
I'm not really sure what the exact name of this one is; I can't find it anywhere online, and believe me, I've looked as I drooled over a bunch of other Marc by Marc Jacobs purse. It's the Posh Turnlock something... clutch? I have no idea, but I couldn't care less. I love it. I love the color. I love the super soft, supple, pebbled leather. I love how I have to carefully choose what to put in it because it's so small. I love it! I know it's not a big bag, literally, in price, and in name, but I honestly could not have found a better way to start my handbag collection. I am in LOVE, and it makes me all giddy, excited and happy inside. :) Now that I have one, I can't wait to have many, many more (much to my wallet & boyfriend's dismay, but who cares!). The thrill and wonder of purchasing one rocks. I'm not sure of what to add next to my collection, but I'm eyeing the Louis Vuitton Speedy 25 or 30 ($60 price difference) in Cassis Epi Leather... or maybe something easier on my wallet, the Marc by Marc Jacobs Groovee Satchel in this gorgeous navy blue color (no idea what it's called). I'm not sure yet, but I am sure excited! And I'm in love!!!
PS - my room is not really that messy. It was like a one weekend thing.
PPS - I also have a cute Coach Skinny Mini in purple patent to debut. I got it to put wallet-y stuff in to put in the purse but I've been using it a lot more.

To Run or Not to Run?

Weather in Santa Cruz has taken a turn for the worse. Gone are the days of flip flops and shorts, well, for me at least. I can hardly stand below 75 degree weather without tossing on a giant, fluffy jacket of some sort. As sunny and hot skies bow out to cold, cloudy fall weather, a dilemma weighs heavily on my mind: the first rain, AKA the Naked Rain Run.
To run or not to run? A part of me feels like I should participate at least once in this tradition during my four years here as a story to tell my future kids or to say that I did it or something. The more practical part of me says that I will probably kill myself running around scantily clad (because I would actually run naked, right? Swimsuit or sports bra + spandex, ftw), and this heinous cold that keeps me bundled up in my room does not help either. I really want to, but I kind of don't at the same time.
Why couldn't it rain when it wasn't abysmally cold to prevent this sleep-depriving (not really) dilemma!? What would you do? Run, or say fuck it and wait until next year? Help/advice is greatly appreciated :)

Are You Retarded?

In the past five or so months, the trusty TI-34 II calculator that I have had since sixth grade decided to slowly degenerate in my loving hands. It has worked sporadically on and off, and usually the 1, 2, 3, sto=>, clear, divide, multiply, subtract, add, enter, delete, clear, and the right arrow. It has accompanied through many tests, and I am sorry to say this, but I believe it is time for it to never feel an electrical current run through its veins again. It is time for me to get a new calculator. And by new, I mean as cheap as possible.
Where is the best place for as cheap as possible? Amazon, of course. And then eBay! I had no such luck with Amazon. It looked like I was having no luck with eBay either, until I stumbled across this lovely gem. It is a used, TI-34 II with no cover selling on eBay for $77.77. Did you read it correctly? Yes, seventy seven dollars and seventy seven cents. Who in their right mind would attempt to sell a used, not even full TI-34 II calculator for almost a hundred bucks?! The thing brand spankin' new is not even worth HALF that much, although it is worth a third of that price...
I made an offer of $5 for the used TI-83 II calculator missing its cover. The owner responded with $24.99. $24.99?! For a used scientific calculator with a missing cover? I could get one brand new on Amazon for that, maybe even cheaper with good luck! I reluctantly increased my price to $10.00 with a note saying that his price was not worth it. He accepted the offer. My prior research saved me $8-12 because I paid $17.00 for it, including S&H! Yay. I hate when people try to Jew me.
Seriously though, this guy must have been delusional or something if he thought that his calculator was worth three times as much as a brand new one, excluding shipping and handling. People are so dumb.

Also, on a random sidenote: My blog is being visited by random fashion bloggers with a decent following? This is pretty cool because I like seeing what people wear on a daily basis even if I am too lazy/uninspired to attempt any sort of personal style other than jeans and a t-shirt. Too bad I don't really blog about anything really fashion relevant other than things I would like and occasional rants about outrageously priced things.

...what?

Okay, not gonna lie. I spend probably 80% of my time on the internet (pretend) online shopping, mostly because I don't have any money/I can't spend anymore money. Otherwise I'd have clothes out the wazoo. Anyway, back to the point... I was browsing around on ShopBop today and I somehow stumbled across these Siwy Sophie Skinny Jeans. They're like a reverse mullet, but in denim form. And they are $242.
WHAT. THE. HECK. Those jeans are TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY TWO DOLLARS. Can they even be considered jeans? Is there even enough denim to qualify them as jeans? Why would you want random mesh on your legs anyway?
You could pretty much achieve the same look with footless tights and a pair of shorts or denim cutoffs or something AND you could save a crapton of money. How can you justify paying $242 for these when you aren't even getting a full premium denim product?! I can pretend to justify paying $150+ for jeans because I've definitely done that before. But paying $240 for three quarters of a pair?! Absolutely ridiculous. I hate clothes. We should all run around naked.

A WTF Moment, in a Bad Way

Today, my friends (Indian Alex and Mexican Tim) and I went to the gym after our calculus class. We are a cool group of people filled with retardedness and weirdness. It rocks. We walked through the core of campus and popped out by the bookstore. As we neared our destination, this other Indian guy--let's call him Indian Douche--popped out of nowhere and greeted Alex because somehow all Indian people know each other. I was falling behind because I had been pulling my spandex down, spacing out, talking to people except not because nobody was listening, so I ran down a hill to catch up to them. I noticed Indian Douche, and not wanting to be rude, I said hi, and continued doing what I was doing.
A thought struck my mind: there was a party tonight and I wasn't sure if Mexican Tim was going with us. So I asked him. He inquired about whose party it was, and I told him that it was my friend's friend's 21st birthday party. He said he didn't want to go to a 21st birthday party. I was slightly bewildered. Why wouldn't anyone want to go? Copious amounts of (free) alcohol! So I stated that obvious fact like this: "But there will be copious amounts of alcohol!" Then from behind me, I heard Indian Douche say, "Wow, that's a big word for you."
Excuse me, but what the fuck. I flipped out because I do not appreciate being called stupid. And I definitely do not appreciate a complete stranger insulting my intelligence. In the five minutes (or less) that I have known him, there was no indication of my intelligence level whatsoever outside of the conversation that he was listening to, which was little. Maybe it would be okay if one of my friends had said, haha, big word for Paulina, but not really. That is beside the point. How can someone who doesn't even know me call me stupid? Does talking about going to a party equate to idiocy and stupidity? Because if that's true, then everyone must be goddamn retarded. I could understand why he said that if I was talking about going to a party, getting absolutely hammered, and trying to find a guy to fuck. I could understand why he said that if I used the word, "copious", in the wrong context. I could understand why he said that if I were participating in a really retarded conversation (I can't think of one right now but just imagine a conversation that you hear dumb bitches talk about and pretend I'm talking with someone about that). But nowhere in our less than five minutes of interaction did I even have a chance to prove my stupidity (or lack thereof) to warrant said comment.
I was really mad at my friends because they were laughing at his comment so I called them out on it. They tried to play it off like it was a big word in relation to my size/height. First of all, my size/height and diction have no correlation whatsoever. If your thought process connects big word to big person, you should probably jump off the nearest cliff or bridge. You're stupid. Second of all, do they really think I am that stupid? Okay, this is not the best judge of intelligence, but if you compare our grades and test scores, mine are better by a long shot. And I am not stupid, because why would they be friends with me if copious was such a huge word for my usual vocabulary? And third of all, do they REALLY think I am that stupid to not spot their fucking bullshit from goddamn Pluto? Like I said before, size and diction have no relevancy whatsoever, and if you think that I'm going to believe that pathetic excuse, you better think again or brace yourself for a kick in the nuts.
So Indian Douche, you're fucking stupid for trying to talk shit to/about me. I don't know you, and I really don't care to, but if five minutes of walking next to someone is enough to warrant the idiot title, I have to say, you're a goddamn idiot. PS - I don't know what your vocabulary consists of but "copious" is not that big of a word.

Wow, You're an Idiot

This year at UCSC, we have new washing machines & dryers because people kept flicking pennies in through the quarter slot to save money on washing clothes. Although it is convenient for them, it is inconvenient for everyone else because it causes the machines to break and is a hassle when 700 students need to wash their clothes but only two or three out of six washing machines/dryers are functioning. The new washing machines & dryers are operated by a card that you have to load with money on the internet and then through a verification machine in the laundry room. This ensures that nobody breaks the machines by flicking pennies into it, and that the university gets their money from people doing their laundry.
Anyway, today, I went to retrieve my clothes from the dryer so I could head off to class. Inside the Kresge East laundry room was a boy. This boy asked me to help him get the washing machine to start because he couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong. Clothes in the washing machine? Yup. Laundry detergent in? I assumed so. Card inserted? Wait, what card!? said the bewilderment on his face. This idiot had inserted quarters into a designated card slot on the two washing machines he was using.
First of all, are you an idiot? Second of all, are you an idiot? And third, I don't know what type of places you've been to, but nowhere in my nineteen and a half years and eleven days of existence have I ever seen a place where you could insert coins into card slots. Maybe it would be okay if there was a coin slot in addition to a card slot and he absentmindedly stuck it in the card slot. Unfortunately for him, there are only card slots on all washing machines and dryers.
How did someone like that get into college is what I'm wondering. Because if you're sticking coins into card slots and wondering why a machine isn't working, you should probably go back to kindergarten.

Today

Today has been awesome! Volleyball all day!
I woke up for my volleyball class at noon. It was super fun. Then my friend convinced me to go to the UCSC men's open gym. I was very apprehensive, anxious, and partially terrified. Then I was even more so when I got there because there were lots of guys! And they were all about a foot taller than me! Or more! But I held my own and kicked ass. I was digging stuff left and right. I wanted to go to the Twin Lakes open gym but nobody else wanted to go. Oh well, I am very excited and proud. I can play with the boys! Hahaha. That's what she said.

First Day Back

I really missed being in Santa Cruz! I've been back for pretty much a full day now, and it's been great, for the most part. I got a job with the College 8 dining hall, and doing so gave me the option of moving in early without paying the $100 early move in fee (providing I complete 11 weeks of employment). I wanted to get out of my house ASAP, so that's what I did.
I arrived yesterday with most of my stuff. I signed up for payroll. Then I had a student orientation. Afterwards, I was pretty tired so I spent the night organizing my boxes of stuff. Also, one of my housemates moved in last night as well. He's pretty cool and his name is Alexis.
This morning I woke up and went to training until about 2. Then I ran around doing a few errands here and there. Then the beach beckoned and I answered! I missed being able to go to the beach pretty much whenever I wanted. I met up with a few of my friends for a few hours of volleyball fun against this random Russian (?) couple. After that, my friend, Dave, took me to his new house to check it out. We ended up going out to dinner with some of his housemates and then back to his house to hang out for a bit. He dropped me off at my apartment and I took a nice, long, hot shower and got all the sand off my body.
Alexis asked me if I wanted to watch "Matilda" with him and his girlfriend, so being the cool and social person I am, I did. They both ended up going to bed before the movie was over, so I finished it by myself. Now I am here and ready for bed.
I am going back to Cupertino tomorrow because I have work at CVS on Saturday which will suck and an In-N-Out date with Asa. I think I will be heading back to Santa Cruz Saturday night though with the rest of my things. Crossing my fingers that it's not Sunday. It almost feels like I never left. I love this place.

Pretend Shopping. Pt. I

I've been pretty bored and pretty broke as of late. However, the internet is very vast and full of things I like, so I decided to indulge in some pretend shopping. I spent a good few hours on the Net-A-Porter, Bloomingdale's, and Nordstrom websites while simultaneously clicking through the Spring 2010 shows on New York mag. If only I had money... or a sugar daddy to purchase me wonderful and expensive things. Saving the images and drooling for now will do though. Someday. Also, this post is probably of no relevance, but that's okay.

From left to right:
Marc Jacobs Posh Turnlock Jazz Bag Satchel - I absolutely LOVE the color, electric violet. And the leather is super squishy and soft. Not really appropriate for the fall, but I don't even care. It's gorgeous.

Yves Saint Laurent Studded Satchel - A lot of celebrities have been spotted with this one, but that's okay. I like the studs and how the YSL "logo" isn't super obnoxious. It could probably carry a lot of crap that I may or may not have on me at the time. I'm sure I could find something to fit in the giant bag. Also, I really like studs, trendy or not.

Marc by Marc Jacobs Petal to the Metal Sasha Hobo - Ever since I bought my first Marc by Marc Jacobs bag, I've really been in love with Marc Jacobs. Not sure if I'm blinded or if he's super amazing. Probably both. Like the first bag, the leather looks super soft and touchable. It's pretty simple and easy to wear on a daily basis. I'm not usually a fan of gold hardware, but I like it on this bag. Sheer proof that things don't have to be flashy to look good.

Celestina Espasol Copper Clutch - I found this gem on Net-a-Porter. No idea who Celestina is, or even if I would actually use it. But hey, if I'm rich, if it catches my eye in a good way, might as well buy it, right? The detail on this clutch is exceptional, and it's all done by hand. I don't have anything in my closet to match, but I'm sure I could buy an outfit or a million to go with it.

Be&D Studded Flap Baquette Clutch - Clutches are pretty nifty things and I like studs. Aesthetically appealing and fairly practical? I'm game.

Marc Jacobs Ostrich Stam - Okay, I absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this version of the Stam, and this says a lot. I don't like pink. I don't wear it, except maybe on my nails. I don't own it. I try not to look at it. But this one just captures my heart. And it also induced my love of ostrich leather. It looks so soft and touchable. I would curl up and sleep with it if I had one--remember, I am rich and if it gets ruined, I can just buy another one. I would carry it all the time. It's light enough to be a fairly neutral color. I will own one some day.

Tory Burch Studded Leather Bowling Bag - I really like Tory Burch's studded bag line. It's definitely a step away from her other lines with her logo emblazoned on the front. Again, this is an example of a fairly simple bag, with just the right amount of detail. And it's huge! Huge enough for me to stuff dead bodies in. I can even overlook the gold hardware; that's how much I like it.

Miu Miu Studded Leather Heart Purse - I don't know why they label this as a purse, because it looks like it can hardly handle coin responsibility, much less purse responsibility. Net-a-Porter doesn't show it with a model for size comparison, but it'd be safe to assume that the thing is tiny. It's super cute. Maybe I can put my chapstick in it or something. I can have a snazzy chapstick holder. Or bobby pins. I don't know. Still rad.

Marc by Marc Jacobs Petal to the Metal Flap Pouchette - See Marc by Marc Jacobs Petal to the Metal Sasha Hobo. I couldn't decide between the two, so I decided why not both. I think I like this one more than the Sasha Hobo. Not sure why though. Maybe because it only has one dove and is slightly smaller.

Alexander Wang Coco Mini Studded Leather Bag - This bag has also been a celebrity favorite, and it's been selling out almost instantly. It follows the studded big-ish bag trend. This picture is horrible at capturing it, but the entire bottom exterior of the bag is covered in little round studs. I think it's a cute little detail. Looks like a boring bag, but lift it up and BAM! studs galore.

Chloe Paraty Python Tote - Again, another highly coveted celebrity bag. I absolutely ADORE the exotic python skin. Amazing. Nothing else to say other than that.

Bottega Veneta San Marco Karung Leather Bag - I don't really like beige or whatever you would call that color, but forget that. The detail on this Bottega Veneta bag is AMAZING. Well, the detail on most Bottega Venetas are amazing, but I really, really, really like this one. The spiral weave is absolutely gorgeous. I would buy outfits revolving around this bag.

Alexander McQueen Faithful Studded Leather Glove Clutch - Alexander McQueen always has kooky, awesome designs. This clutch is one of them. It's pretty practical, and impractical at the same time. At least I would never lose it...

Bird Ostrich Mrs. Clutch - MMM. I love this one. For starters, it's ostrich. Have I mentioned that I love ostrich? Because I really love ostrich. I love the detailing in the leather. And I love how the flap is cut asymmetrically and jaggedy. It makes the clutch that much better 'cause most of them have clean lines. I wouldn't mind carrying this on me at all times.

Emanuel Ungaro Studded Leather Clutch - It has lots and lots of silver hardware and knickknacks, but it works because it's such a small thing. On any other bag, it would be tacky, gaudy, and completely overwhelming. I feel like this clutch would go with pretty much anything. Probably. And I love the little clasp lock it has.

Last but not least, the Gucci Galaxy Python Hobo - Um, can I just say WOW. I don't usually like Gucci, but right now, I really love Gucci. This bag is incredibly simple, but the beauty is in the python skin. Absolutely gorgeous. I just want to run my hands all over this bag feeling the awesome python-y texture. Maybe if given the chance, I would roll around naked all over a bed of this bag. Maybe. Probably not because I wouldn't want to do that to those poor bags. Anyway, I also like how it's not super slouchy, but not super structured either. I've found my soulmate.

Where are you, thousands of dollars? I need you right now, and this post is my proof.

Retail Therapy

Is the best therapy. Too bad I blew the spendable portion of my money on/during my Washington vacation. It's okay though 'cause it was worth it even if it leaves me longing for things that I don't need and/or can't reasonably afford. I did manage to snag a pair of Citizens of Humanity Avedon skinnies (original price $163) for $57.50 on sale at Macy's, some super cute Sanrio stationery, a super amazingly cute & fitting Free People Summer Breeze dress for $88 + free shipping after trying it on at Macy's and dying out of love/being sad about it having a stain--oh well, ShopBop ended up being cheaper, and an electric violet Marc by Marc Jacobs turnlock purse for $117. Gotta love Oregon's lack of sales tax.
Anyway, this post was pointless and I am tired/depressed.

Not Sure if I Should Laugh or Cry, Pt. II

Brad and I went to WinCo (the place I hate the most in the world because it ate my coupon for a free candy bar) the other day. He was getting something, and I was just chillin' by our shopping cart when I was approached by an old man.

This is what went down:

Old Man: How old are you?
Me: *looks around nervously*
Old Man: How old are you? Are you twenty?
Me: *sees Brad* Um... Brad. BRAD!
Old Man: Are you twenty? Are you twenty?
Brad: Excuse me, can I help you?
Old Man: How old is she? Is she twenty?
Brad: She is nineteen. What does it matter to you?
Old Man: I just wanted to know how old she is! Are you fifteen?
(Brad & I exit the aisle by maneuvering our shopping cart away as fast as possible)

I got hit on by another old man within the span of three days. :( If you have to ask someone how old s/he is, you're probably too old to be hitting on him/her. Or anyone else really. No more creepers pleaseeee.

Not Sure if I Should Laugh or Cry

I've been going to the Campbell Recreation Center with my friend, Alex the Indian, to play volleyball lately. It's pretty fun. There's a weird crowd there, and there are a lot of old people. The last time we went, we got put on this team with this weird old guy who sort of resembled my old karate teacher, Jim Mathers, except not really.

Anyway, today, Alex the Indian disappeared somewhere and I was sitting on a bench drinking water. The weird old guy approached me and we had a conversation that went like this:

Old Man: Where did you get those legs from?
Me: *baffled look*
Old Man: Which parent did you get your long legs from?
Me: *extremely baffled look* What?
Old Man: Didn't get your legs from your immediate family?
Me: *confused looking around for Alex the Indian* Uh... *awkward laugh*
(cue Alex the Indian walking towards me)
(Old Man walks away)

I got hit on by a sixty-ish year old man. I'm not really sure what to think about it. It is mildly entertaining, but also very, very sad, both for me and him. Why do I always get creeped on? :(

Get Owned, Bitch.

I touched a bit upon it a few entries ago. And by touched, I mean, I mentioned slightly. So anyway, here is a problem that has been going on for two~ years. Black Friday 2007, I got this rad Juicy necklace from Nordstrom. I kept it in its little box inside my cosmetics case. I didn't/don't wear much jewelry, so this little number never saw the light of day. Then many moons passed and it came time for me to go visit Brad for the first time in Washington. I was very excited and I wanted to bring my necklace along. I never wore it or anything, so it should have been where I left it. Amirite? More like wrong. I opened up my cosmetics case. The little box it came in was there. I opened the box. The necklace was missing. Wait, what? Yup. The necklace was missing.
See, now that makes no sense whatsoever. How can something go missing if it was never used and never touched? Gee, I wonder.
Naturally, I blamed my sister because when my things go missing that I haven't misplaced, she's stolen it. She flipped the hell out and started screaming and crying about how I always accuse her of taking my stuff. It's like the boy who cried wolf. He kept saying there was a wolf when there wasn't. So when there finally was a wolf, nobody believed him. Well, if she kept stealing my stuff, and I kept finding my things among hers... yeah.
So this issue has been ongoing since then. Every single time I've brought it up, my parents and most people I know have called me a liar. They told me that I was simply trying to start trouble.
Then pictures have popped up of her wearing it on Facebook. Gee, how did that happen. So I sent the pictures to my mom, and she said she didn't have any proof. Are pictures of her stealing it not PROOF enough? Then she accused me of trying to start trouble again.

(Faces of the innocent have been colored out to protect their privacy.)

So today I was digging around the room that I share with my sister, and what did I find? One of the Juicy jackets that I bought on eBay because the description said it was purple but when I opened the package, it was gray and my necklace! They were hidden in a box of my sister's junk, underneath a pile of old sweatshirts and jackets.



And just in case my description of how/why I bought the jacket isn't enough and I am still lying, here are pictures of me wearing it in Santa Cruz and in Washington.



So I win, you lose. I rise, you fall. (Hahaha, "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" reference.) Who's the liar now?

A Funny Sight?

I would like to see this someday. I think it would make my dreams come true, namely because the thought of it tickles me quite so.
Imagine if a half-Asian, half-white female with a parent who has blond hair and blue eyes fornicated with a half-Asian, half-white male with a parent who has blond hair and blue eyes. What would their half-Asian, half-white kid look like?! Blond hair and blue eyes but half Asian? Dark hair and slanty blue eyes? Asian eyes, white person nose? Blond hair and slanty eyes?
I wish I were half Asian and half white with a blond parent so I could meet a boy who is half Asian and half white with a blond parent so we could try this out. ...except not.

Just a Thought

Lately, I've been having a lot of these moments where I've been evaluating myself and the paths I've chosen (clicheee!). It's mostly been brought on by a certain string of events induced by my sister. It's no secret that we are two very different people. And it is definitely no secret that we don't get along. However, I'm usually pretty tolerant of the stupid shit she pulls (ie. stealing underwear, $90 necklaces, makeup, condoms, money, etc. from me or being a skank). This time though, she's taken things entirely too far.

We got into a huge argument because she flipped out over me taking the car to go to the gym with my little brother, even though I'd already confirmed with my mom that I could use it that day. (People with their own cars, be thankful you don't have to share one with someone crazy!) Then she started screaming about how I always ruin everything, how she hates living here with me, and how life is so much better when I'm not around, etc. And then she started shrieking about how she hopes that I get pregnant and die. I collected all of my gym belongings and then left with my brother to the echoes of her screams.

I came home to find the following:
1. my birth control missing from my purse where I'd left it after I took my pill at about 12:45PM. (And no, in case you're wondering, she's not stealing so she can have some of her own. She went to Planned Parenthood and got her own. She took it out of spite.) And yes, it is still missing.
2. my nearly empty Earth Science moisturizer filled with some white crap (possibly John Frieda Brilliant Brunette conditioner)
3. Nair Hair Removal Cream mixed with my Catwalk conditioner.

First of all, 1 & 3 are so LOW. Why would you do that to someone, not to someone who is your FAMILY. And obviously they are all incredibly immature and childish. Rant, rant, rant, I could go on for hours, but that's the gist of my ranting.

Secondly, you really have to evaluate the type of person you're becoming if you are willing to go so far as to take someone's birth control in the hopes that the person gets pregnant. Not to mention that someone is your sister. Is that who you really want to be? Someone so selfish and childish that you put others at risk for something because you can't deal with whatever issues and insecurities you have in a constructive manner? Do you really want to have to grasp at something so petty, ridiculous, and incredibly immature so you feel a little bit better about yourself? Do you really want to be someone who goes completely out of his/her way to cause someone misery just because you didn't get something that you wanted?

There are a lot of terrible and evil things I could do to everyone who has wronged me in some way. I could take my sister's birth control. I could let "accidentally" let it slip out of her purse and in front of my parents. I could urinate in her facewash. I could rub my shitstained butthole all over her pillow. The list goes on. The key word in there is could. I could do all of those things, but I don't. I would like to think that I am a better person that. I would like to think that I don't need to stoop to childish levels to make up for hurt feelings and annoyance. I would like to say that I am above letting petty arguments and nuances ago, because they're just that: petty. I may say a lot of snide and snarky stuff on the side for some LOLz or because I'm furious, but that's an entirely different level than physically messing with someone and trying to make his or her life miserable. So on that note, I do think that I am turning out morally okay despite living with complete bitches for all my life. Or borrowing a line from "27 Dresses", my moral compass does point due north... mostly.

Tryouts & Other Volleyball Shenanigans

Lately, volleyball tryouts have been haunting my dreams. Seriously. I dream that I make the team. I dream that I don't make the team. I dream that Selene hates me. I dream that she loves me. Tryouts start next Wednesday at either 8 or 9 in the morning with double days... At this point, I'm not sure if I'm trying out, but I'm leaning towards a no. Assuming that I miraculously make it, I'm not sure if I want to play that competitively and I'm not sure if I want to have volleyball suck that much time out of my life (again). I'm okay with just playing on the beach, open gyms, and intramurals with my friends. I don't know. Decisions, decisions.
Today was pretty rad. I went to the AVP Crocs tour in San Francisco. Not gonna lie, I'm pretty jealous that all these people get to play volleyball as a career. I wish I had a fraction of the skill to do that. Anyway, I summed most of it up with Facebook photos, so I'll keep it brief here.
- I saw Phil Dalhausser outside the gate, but I wasn't sure if it was him and I didn't want to look stupid so I didn't ask for a picture. Normal people clothes can be awfully deceiving.
- I creeped on Phil Dalhausser & Todd Rogers warming up in the players area. It was awesome!
- I met Kerri Walsh after getting rejected by her before her game.
- I got a free cooler from KFC, a free backpack from Malibu Rum, and a free totebag from Barefoot wine.
- I got a flipflop tan.
- I am partially in love with Sean Scott.
- Oh and the matches I saw: Brazao/Prosser vs. Carlucci/Witt, Dalhausser/Rogers vs. Acosta/Baxter, DeNecochea/Dodd vs. Burdine/Mason, Walsh/Wacholder vs. Stonebarger/Lowe, and Scott/Hyden vs. Placek/Moran.
It was super fun. I'm going again next year and I'm going to try and volunteer!

THE COOLEST THING EVER!!!

I've been listening to this band, Disparaged, a lot lately. And by a lot I mean, nonstop on my MP3 player and laptop. They're so rad. Their latest album, "Wrath of God", sounds like what Bloodbath tried to do with the "Fathomless Mastery" mixed with some Amon Amarth-ish sounds here and there. Needless to say, I am in love.
I woke up in a fairly terrible mood today and I went to school. I came back and logged onto MySpace to a barrage of comments. MySpace is a cyber-shithole and hasn't been working at all lately, hence the many comments. One of them was from Disparaged. I couldn't see it because it contained HTML, but I clicked approve anyway, assuming that it was just some promotional stuff. Doesn't matter too much to me. Then I clicked on my comments page so I could respond to everyone, and I saw Disparaged's comment.


For once, it wasn't JUST a thanks for the add and banner and link... THEY COMMENTED ON MY YEARBOOK PHOTO!!! THEY COMMENTED ON MY YEARBOOK PHOTO!!! THEY COMMENTED ON MY YEARBOOK PHOTO!!! I KNEW that that photo would bring me some good some day. And that has made my entire day.

Here it is again.

When Will People Learn

I don't get it. When are people going to learn that messing with my stuff is NOT the way to make it easy to live with me? In fact, when are people going to learn that messing with other people's stuff in general doesn't make it easy to live with anyone, unless they're fucking retards and are completely oblivious, or if they are hippies?
Seriously. I am not that hard to get along with unless you're offended by the the things that come out of my mouth. I keep to myself a lot. I like to be awkward, but only for shitz & gigglez. But going through my stuff, stealing, and throwing my things away is INSTANTLY going to make me want to rip your fucking brains out. And everyone I live/d with doesn't seem to fucking understand that. It's not that fucking hard. Don't touch my things and there will be no disasters of epic proportions.

I Hate Twilight

I'm in the minority, but seriously, the book and movie are incredibly stupid and despicable. I read the book sometime last summer out of boredom, and tonight, I decided to watch the movie to see wtf was up. Both were a waste of time.

Let me sum up the novel/movie for you:
Bella: I just moved here and I don't know anybody, but there's this Edward guy and he's so pretty and gorgeous and he hates me. Oh wait, no, he loves me? He loves me!
Edward: Bella, I love you, but I'm a VAMPIRE. I'm evil! We can't be together. You'd be so much better off without me. I sparkle! I'm evil! I sparkle! I put you in danger.
*cue James, black guy, ugly woman*
James: I'm James, and I'm a tracker. Edward looked at me funny! What a challenge! I am going to kill Bella! Ha ha ha.
*cue five minutes/pages of anticlimactic fighting in Phoenix in which James is killed*
The end.

Not to mention the acting is terrible. Do Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have expressions other than a stoned stare? I've seen more emotion out of a statue.

Also, I've come to the conclusion that Robert Pattinson is not that sexy.

Kill me, please.

My Top 60 List of Baby Names (Not Really)

One of My Dreams

Some day in a few years, you're going to see some Balenciaga/Chanel-toting bitch in Chanel sunglasses speeding/driving a red (hopefully) E30 convertible up & down Highway 1 while blasting some death metal (probably Bloodbath) aimlessly all day long. That's going to be me. And it's going to happen. Just you wait and see.

Awkward Conversations Rock

Today, I was at the Costco in Almaden with my mom. I wandered around until I found myself in the pharmacy/over the counter area. There was box with forty condoms in it! That's the most I've ever seen! Well, four more than the economy sized ones that they sell at CVS, but still! Forty! On the way to the parking lot, I had a really awkward conversation with my mom.

Me: So inside that Costco, I saw a box with FORTY condoms in it! Crazy!
Mom: Oh, so that would last you about a year!
Me: *weird look*
Mom: Oh, maybe a month?

I Really Hate De Anza

The first reason why I don't like De Anza is because it feels like high school all over again. Don't get me wrong, high school was cool and all, but not the classes. I like sitting in a five million person lecture hall and not having the professor ever know me. I like not having professors in said lecture hall not give a damn about whether or not I am there (ie. attendance!). I like not having to deal with group discussions and daily assigned readings with responses (unless I'm in some sort of writing class). I like stuff like that.

But most of all, I really hate De Anza because of the absolutely brilliant parking lot design they've got going on. Seriously, it has got to be every Asians' best dream, allowing for driving like idiots, not paying attention to laws and proper driving etiquette. To demonstrate, I've broken it down into several WTF points, labeled A-G.


A - Considering the fact that they only have three (technically, two) known entrances onto campus, this spot has a lot of congestion. This point has several pedestrian crosswalks and fifty stop signs too many, thus leading to a long line of traffic and people constantly missing the stoplight. In addition, at any given class time, it is nearly impossible to turn out of the parking lot onto Campus Drive because people are trying to get in and out all at once.
B - This is a serious WTF point. It's a small intersection, but not really, and somehow you have to do a semi-U-turn to get out of campus from the parking lot? And if you somehow don't register that there's a semi-U-turn to be made, you have to dodge cars leaving their stop signs. Also, the exit can only fit two cars at most, so anymore than that and the roadway is blocked. Epic design fail.
C - Due to people rice rocketting past and the lack of a stop sign, it is nearly impossible to turn into the parking lot at this point.
D - This is just a WTF point. It SEEMS like when you get over here there'd be some sort of exit from the WTF parking lot, but WRONG. COMPLETELY WRONG. It's just a row of a few shrubs laughing maniacally at you for thinking, like any normal human being, that there would be an exit.
F - This is an exit from the parking lot where nobody pays attention to the stop sign and decides to cut in front of you.
G - UGH. This is the WORST PLACE EVER. I don't know who the FUCK thought this was a good idea, but they should probably be crucified. It is almost impossible to get out of Campus Drive from here at any given time because you always have people turning in from Stelling. Now, if they were all heading in one direction (like to the right), it would be all fine and dandy, but they don't. The entrance from Stelling splits off into two lanes, one for people turning right (the cool people) and the other for people going straight or turning left (the motherfuckers). You never really know which lane people are going to go into, and more often than not they'll change lanes really quick, thus confusing people trying to turn into the five feet of space that allows for you to exit Campus Drive onto Stelling. Then you have to play guess what the people are gonna do at the myriad of stop signs opposite from you, and they're doing the same. And if you err on the side of caution, you have a line of twenty pissed off probably-Asians honking at you to move your ass.

Reason number three as to why I hate De Anza is because their website is confusing as fuck and has no relevant information. In addition, everything on there contradicts everything else. And they're not giving me a $54 refund for withdrawing from a class within the withdraw period. WTF.

In short, I really hate De Anza, and some day, I will purchase a bulldozer and bulldoze entrances and exits wherever I please.

Bland

I don't really have anything to say, so I don't update. My summer has been pretty boring. I don't do much other than school, work & being not fat. I am going to the beach on Sunday though, so I am really excited. And I can't wait to see a few of my Santa Cruz friends. I miss them a lot.
I had my first midterm for Abnormal Psychology on Thursday. 60 multiple choice questions about 4 chapters worth of material. It was pretty easy. I don't mind this class. It's fairly interesting, and I can see random symptoms of various disorders in people I know. It makes me laugh.
I really, really, really hate Intro to Sociology though. This might be the worst class I've ever taken. This might even be worse than Music in Latin America. It's like a high school class, complete with assigned readings that you have to respond to, taking attendance, and small group discussions. I want to drop this class, but I'm not going to because I want to be done with GEs. Good thing I only have like four more weeks of this bullshit. I hope I survive because every day I go, I want to kill myself.
I'm kind of excited for the summer to end and to go back to school, actually. I love home, but I can only take so much of it.
Off to volleyball!

Current Obsessions

Christian Louboutin Pillow Clutch

Balenciaga Arena Giant Envelope Clutch

Alexander Wang Resort 2010

Louis Vuitton Resort 2010

Busy-ish

Summer school's alright. Both of my classes feel more like high school classes. I'm taking Abnormal Psychology & Intro to Sociology. They're both pretty boring, but they take up a good five hours (10-3~) of my Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.
I've got volleyball on Mondays through Thursdays at various times as of now. The Lynbrook open gym is pretty cool, most of the time. Billy is my favorite. The Monta Vista open gym is pretty sucky because it's not even a real open gym. I hate playing six on six when it is unnecessary. Plus it's a giant waste of time. However, work starts sometime soon and hopefully I'll be working Monday, Friday & Saturday mornings, as well as Tuesday and Thursday evenings so I won't have to go to MV open gyms anymore.
Also, I just got a gym membership at 24 Hour Fitness, so I'm going to try to hit that up Tuesday & Thursday before class, and maybe Fridays & Saturdays too. Gotta stay in shape and not be fat.
Sweet. That's it.

Home

Again, and I'm crawling into a hole until school/work starts. Hate this feeling that I get everytime he's gone.

Things That Are Cool & Things That Are Not Cool

Things That Are Cool
- Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
- seeing movies opening night
- water beds
- delicious food
- going to the beach
- painting my nails
- painting Mike's nails (lol)
- kisses
- boyfriend
- nice hair
- Taylor Swift
- Summer Slaughter
- Ben & Jerry's ice cream
- potential beer pong
- Dead Guy
- making money
- Facebook Scrabble (play me!)

Things That Are Not Cool
- allergies (not me)
- hot weather
- shitty weather for the coast
- being hungry
- crap hair
- fucking up painted nails
- people contacting me out of the blue under the pretense of wanting to hang out, except they only really need alcohol. Good thing I'm out of the state.
- my back hurting
- not playing volleyball for two weeks
- leaving in a few days
- going back to work
- school
- 3.44
- Facebook Scrabble

Ape Cave

Today, Brad and I went with Zane, Nathan, and Savannah to this place called Ape Cave up past Woodland. Brad told me that it was a lava tunnel. It was super awesome. Half of the cave is kind of boring and flat and you have to turn around once you reach the end. The other half of the cave is awesome and adventure-y. We walked the first half and back. Then we got to the entrance and decided to go through the second half. We climbed lots of giant piles of rocks and dodged giant rocks. There was one part where it was pretty much like rock climbing and it was cool!
It was also kind of freaky though. The cave was pitch black and ever since I saw the Descent, I've kind of been freaked out by caves. I was clutching Brad's hand for a good deal of the way and I made him walk behind me always.
Also, the cave is tricky because about 3/4 of the way through, there's an opening in the roof where you could potentially climb out but it is really wet and slippery. We walked by and two people threw things at us and laughed. I wanted to climb out like a badass and assault them, but I didn't because I am nice.
Awesome adventures are awesome.

Life in Washington

Yesterday, Brad and I went to the zoo to see the lions. We got jewed :( We were very sad. First, ticket prices went up FIFTY CENTS from when we were there April '08. Second, the lion exhibit wasn't open even though when we went in April, there was a sign that said it would be back Spring '09. And third, the primate exhibit was under construction too! HOW LAME IS THAT!!! We paid $10.50 to see not the entire zoo!!!
But that's okay because afterwards, Brad let me drag him around Washington Square Mall and through Macy's, Nordstrom, Aritzia, A&F, a giant F21 (not as big as SF, but close), Metropark, and Sanrio for a few hours. It was awesome! Surprisingly enough, I only purchased a shitload of stationery from Sanrio with NO SALES TAX. :( I didn't really like anything I tried on, or the selection of clothing. I was eyeing a few pairs of True Religions, but I decided against them... On second thought, maybe I should get them because there is NO SALES TAX. But then again, I can always get them from Revolve or something online with NO SALES TAX and FREE SHIPPING.
Sometimes I forget why I love my boyfriend so much, especially when we fight and stuff. But then we have days where he lets me practically torture him just so I can do something that makes me really happy, and I remember why: he'd go through practically anything to make me laugh and smile. Also, he cooks for me and that is awesome.

i really wish i was home right now more than anything.
sigh. in need of a hug or two.

Stoked

I'm in Washington!
I'm playing in a beach tournament at the end of July!
I got a B in chemistry after I failed the second midterm. I got a B in my chem lab :( I thought I did better, but oh well.
I'm in Washington!
I'm about to eat nachos.
Yesss.

I'm done with school tomorrow! Yay!

Fuck.

I absolutely hate living with other people. This entire year has just proven to me over and over again as to why. I am so frustrated, irritated and angry right now. I am going to kill spoiled cunts tomorrow.

This is Weird

I can never remember exactly how old I am. It usually takes me several tries to get it right. When people ask me, it usually comes out of my mouth like this: "I'm sixtee--wait, seven--nope, eighteen... OH JUST KIDDING. I'm nineteen!!!". I don't feel like I'm 19. I don't even feel like I was 18, or even 17. Maybe 16. But I guess, I will always think of myself as that awkward, 14 year-old freshman with retarded bangs that stuck straight up when I played volleyball, no matter how old I get. Or at least until I'm married.
Also, when I turn 21, it will be really interesting to see how many times I get carded for looking like I'm 12. I can't wait. Or how many people won't believe that I'm actually legal legal.

On another note, the Transformers soundtrack is amazing. It gives me butterflies and I want to stand up and wave my arms like a really passionate conductor. You know, epic swells and little tiptoe portions and stuff. I miss band?

Okay, back to procrastinating.

IM Championships

They're tonight.
Domes are going to be rocked.
Motherfuckers are going down.
I'm amping myself up times a million right now.
Niggers shall hang.
There will be blood.
I'm excited.

Also, there might be some Chipotle to be had.

This Weekend

In three words: wow interesting drunk/delicious steak YUM

On Friday, Fusty, Sean, Lauren and I, plus two drunk fat bitch friends of Fusty's (ew), went to Fusty's friends' house, aptly named the Bro House, way out in BFE. Nobody was there yet, including Bodhi and Eliot, the guys who live there, so we waited and we waited. The party was supposed to start around 8, and it was 9. Finally, the two guys showed up with alcohol, and Chris needed to go pick up his friend. We left the two drunk fat bitch friends and pile into Chris's POS Ford Focus and went to BFE Soquel to pick up Aaron. Aaron appears at his door with moustaches for all. The drive to BFE Soquel was forgiven. We pile back into the car and drive back to BFE. Drinks, dance, and conversation were had by all, except Chris, who was DD. Occasionally the drunk fat bitches appear out of nowhere to annoy everyone and have one hang on Chris, until he finally took them back up to campus. Then an hour later he showed up to pick the rest of us. But that was after a cop showed up at the party and was like WTF IDIOT NEIGHBOR FOR CALLING IN THIS CHILL AND MELLOW PARTY WTF. And that was my Friday night.
On Saturday night, Dave & Ben threw an end-of-the-year/this-is-our-last-weekend-together/douchefag-is-gone party. It was spent very drunk with varying degrees of annoyed/anger. It also resulted in me getting punched in the eye and scratched. Might I add, I did nothing to provoke it. Puke nights suck. Also people making me angry while I'm drunk thus causing me to drink more suck too. But Jager and tequila rock.
Tonight, I went home with Tim, Fusty, Lauren, and Sean and my parents made us steak. It was righteous, thick, juicy, and manly: everything a steak should be. We had ourselves a feast, and we played foosball.
Now I am here. Now I am going to bed.

Christian Louboutin for Rodarte

These shoes are ridiculous. I kind of want a pair.

Things That Make Me Excited

- making friends in college
- dance music
- dance party on Saturday with drank (drink 'n' my 2-step, anybody?)
- love/boyfriend
- going to bed NOW

Another List of Things I Love

- steak
- Costco hot dogs
- Costco samples
- beach
- beach volleyball
- kicking ass at beach volleyball
- friends' awesome parents
- unexpectedly beautiful weather
- love
- candy
- bacon
- DEMONS & FUCKING WIZARDS<3

Nasty

A while ago, there was a bit of a plumbing issue underneath the sink in the bathroom. It leaked or something and got a roll of toilet paper wet. Well, eventually, that toilet paper got moldy, but it somehow remained in the bathroom. After we used up a bunch of toilet paper, that was the only one left. I was using my nice toilet paper that I purchased because I got tired of people not paying for toilet paper. Then my mom brought up some even nicer toilet paper, so I put all of my previous toilet paper in the bathroom for usage and horded the nice ones. Those ran out super magically quick as well. Now, the only toilet paper left in the bathroom is the moldy one. It's been sitting on the floor being moldy. IT IS STARTING TO GET USED. How nasty is that!!! Good thing I have my toilet paper for bringing in and out of the bathroom like a little Jew.
Anyway, I'm hitting that end of the school year slump. I don't really want to do school, but my grades are definitely that great so I can't slack off :( I don't have work this weekend so I'm going to be at the beach! I'm so excited. Also, Nick Rubin is coming to visit me tomorrow and he's taking me out to dinner. Woo! Good food :)

Who Woulda Thought?

I've really come to love it here at Santa Cruz. I don't know what it is: the weather, the beach, the forest, the people, or maybe a combination of all four. Regardless, it rocks. And I've officially spent all weekend at the beach. Sweet!
Also, I really love sitting around naked. In my room, of course. There's nothing like a cold shower and nudity, consecutively, of course.

Day From Hell

That is what today was supposed to be, except it wasn't too bad. I was mildly prepared for my midterms. My goal is simply to pass these classes now, and by passing, I mean some sort of B. I had chem first, and then calculus. After calc, my friends and I who are also in these classes went to the beach! We played some fun beach volleyball for two hours. Then I had to go back to meet my mom and my brother for dinner. My friends were going to drop me off at the restaurant, but then asked me if they could eat with us! I called my mom and asked and she said yes. Anyway, my friends like my mom, and my mom likes my friends. Then I went back to my apartment and showered. I took some NyQuil to knock me out because I am sick and tired and I have work tomorrow that I might call in sick for depending on how sick I feel. Bad sentence, bad sentence, bad sentence. Then I said oh, what the hell, you are done with midterms and you are tired. So I smoked a bowl, and here I am, typing a blog high as fuck. Now I will go to bed. NyQuil + marijuana, WOO!
Also, for those of you who are curious, it is 11:21PM right now. In 39 minutes, it will be my two year anniversary with Brad! Yay!

Lately

I've been struggling through this past week. I've cried a lot. I've spent a lot of time thinking and writing out my emotions. It hasn't been easy, but I think things will work out for the better. I don't know where to go from here, but the only direction is up. I hope the right path is chosen, and that things will go in my favor. I need to hope; I need to believe to get me through the days.
I am so incredibly thankful for the amazing friends that I've made who have been here for me this past week, from coming over and listening to me be a giant mess, hugging me when I'm sobbing uncontrollably, reassuring me that things will work themselves out, to making me smile. Even if it feels like I don't have anything, I have that, and that means so much.
Now, I'm off to study for my chemistry and calculus midterms tomorrow.

Things I Love

- See's candies (Scotchmallow!)
- free See's candies samples
- beach
- perfect weather
- cold water feeling good in the sun
- sunshine
- volleyball
- tide pools
- cool friends
- sea anemones
- today

Current Shoe Obsessions

From left to right... Christian Louboutin, Givenchy, Manolo Blahnik, Fendi, Christian Louboutin, Fendi, Fendi, Chloe, Chloe, Chloe, Fendi, Christian Dior, Louis Vuitton.
I don't know why, but I've been incredibly shoe obsessed lately. Probably because you can never have too many shoes, and shoes are the exclamation point on a FIERCE! outfit. I sort of have an obsession with cage, gladiator, studs, and shiny. Oh and anything dark looking. Wish I had money because I would SO get the Givenchys (second from left on the top row) and the Diors. I love, love, love. Seriously. The Givenchys are something a female Batman would wear. Or at least that's what I imagine. Indestructible, badass-looking armor, sexy shoes. Haha. And the Diors (second from right on the bottom row) are pretty self explanatory. The studs & the corset-style lacing take me back to my Dark Days. Except not really, I just think they're incredibly badass. And maybe the Louis Vuittons too because the heel is pretty sweet. Yesss.
Also, I spent $101 on eBay today. Oops? Yes, oops is right.

Things I am Thinking About Today

1. See's candy! Specifically, Scotchmallow, the best candy known to mankind. It's the perfect combination of chocolate, ooeygooey caramel & marshmallow-y delicious, & awesome. Runners up are Mayfair (chocolate, cherry bits & nuts) and blueberry truffle. I am so craving some.
2. UO Risky Business Sunglasses aka Ray Ban Wayfarer knockoffs. I am having a sunglasses withdrawal. I've lost most of mine, or they're at home. Need new ones in lots of cool colors!
3. True Religion Joey Flares. Love True Religions and I love the Joey Flares. Been stalking eBay for a decent/cheap pair because I've realized that everything I buy brand new, I rarely wear. Plus, I'm waiting for these in the Medium Savannah wash from my mom for my birthday. Might as well get accustomed to them before then! Also I love the way they fit and look on my butt. Awesome.
4. eBay. Like I said, I've been on eBay all day for various designer jeans at cheaper prices, and some random purses that I can't afford (ie. Chanel, Dior, Balenciaga).
5. Aldo's new Soito mesh-y, semi-Stella McCartney knockoff pumps. I think the picture says it all. I'm in the market for new shoes anyway. Actually, correction. I'm the market for new anything.
6. Aldo's new Mauceri cut out pumps. I like cutouts and little studs. Enough said.
7. Polaroids! I like polaroids. I'm afraid to use all my film though. Polaroids are always awesome.
8. Boyfriend! 39 days until I see him for 17 days. I'm super excited. Plus our 2 year anniversary is 13 days from now. Also super exciting.
9. Calculus for Biology and Medicine by Claudia Neumhauser. I hate calc. I've been doing it all weekend.
10. Chemical Principles by Stephen Zumdahl. I am starting my chem homework now.
11. Nautical/ocean/beach-y jewelry. Super cute. I'm definitely eyeing a few. I like the locket one and the anchor one. Also, did you know that American Eagle and Aerie have their own separate sections for jewelry? They're the same store! Why not put it in the same section so people don't get confused?
12. Cobian Fiji flip flops. I don't care what people say about their ridiculously overpriced Rainbows; these flip flops are definitely the best and comfiest known to mankind. I'm thinking I might need another pair. Or fifty.
13. The beach/vacation. Self explanatory. Yay!

Wolverine

I saw it today and it was really cool! I don't know the back story or anything about it, but my friends dragged me along to see it. I liked it a lot! I probably wouldn't have liked it if I actually knew it, but who cares! Hugh Jackman is in it, NAKED. Mmmm. So sexy. Tyler Kitsch is in it. Very cute, and Penn Badgley-ish. Ryan Reynolds is in it. Totally cute. Dominic Monahagan is in it. Love him and his cute accent. Lots of nifty cool mutant powers that I wish I could have. Oh, and did I mention Hugh Jackman NAKED??? Yesss. The movie was cool. I did not expect it to be so.

Today, I also got awkwardly hit on by a high school gaming nerd. Mind you, not your typical gamer though. He was one of those socially inept, but tries really hard, but can't really win at life because he plays Dungeons & Dragons and Warhammer type things and loves them. It was reaaaally awkward. And semi-funny.
I also scarfed down a delicious burger in five minutes so we could run to the movie theatre because my friends decided to spend forty minutes in the D&D/Warhammer/nerd games store.
I played Lord of the Rings: Return of the King with Dave and I realized that my skills have gone to shit. I used to be really good at this game. Now, I'm not. I also watched "Borat" and I fell asleep about fifteen minutes in.
ALSO, my parents got me a MINIFRIDGE, so I went grocery shopping to stock up on food that people will never eat again because it is LOCKED UP, safe in my room.
YAY!

Is it me...

or does this Chanel purse look like a ballsack?

"Chanel continues to be the go-to designer for style, elegance, and timeless pieces that will last a lifetime."
Orly? Testicles don't really evoke the Chanel standard of style or elegance. Timeless, yes, but honestly, this just evokes many lolz from me. Of course, the shape and design of this bag won't stop people from buying this because they'd rather own something Chanel than not, and the price tag of these leather balls is a lot cheaper than one of their more classic styles. I am super excited to see people toting these around because I will probably die laughing!

Explain This

I bought one of those 24-packs of single American cheese slices from Safeway. You know, the kind where they're individually wrapped for burgers and things. The first time I used them was last weekend when Brad was here. I put two on my breakfast burger, and I ate one because I was really hungry. I noticed that I've had a bunch missing since then even though I've only eaten three. I ate two or three more on Sunday when I made myself some food, but not enough to get rid of over half the bag. Today, I opened up the fridge and noticed that there was only five left. Annoyed with people constantly eating my food, I put it in a ziploc bag that said "Please buy your own cheese and stop eating mine." Not a big deal, right? If you don't eat my food, you don't notice, or you don't say anything because you don't eat it. I came back to poke through the fridge after my math class today and it had a note on it that said "Chill out, nobody is eating your food."
If nobody is eating my food, why do I only have FIVE slices of cheese left when I should have about 18 or 19? I would know if I ate it, not to mention I've cooked twice in this kitchen since I've gotten the damn cheese.
If nobody is eating my food, why do you bother putting a note on it? In fact, why are you even fucking around with my food? You don't eat it? Cool. Not a big deal. You ignore it and go on with your day. You don't have to try to cover up for yourself and say nobody is eating my food. Because somebody is eating my food. It doesn't mysteriously disappear and dispose of itself. And I haven't eaten any of it. Dumb bitch.
I'm so glad I'm getting a mini-fridge. I might just take some of her stuff and tell her nobody is eating her food.

Question

Why am I up at 4:30 in the morning? Oh, because the stupid girls I live with decided to vacuum at one in the morning, then begin to throw a noisy ass party. Then around 4 in the morning, the three girls responsible decide to start shrieking at the top of their lungs because one of the other girls' hamsters got loose and was running around. I kid you not, SHRIEKING at the top of their lungs.
I really think that I just need to live by myself or something because I can't do this.

Thank God It's the Weekend! Sorta.

I have a feeling that this quarter is going to be like this week for the rest of the quarter: long, boring, and stressful. I'm glad it's the weekend! Except for the fact that I'm using it to catch up on chem homework and a lab report. Cool! And to study for my bullshit Music from Latin America: Cultural and Regional Traditions class, aka reading approximately 200 pages of a smelly, trashed book that I don't care about.
Some of my friends are throwing a party tonight and I think I will go, except I don't really feel like drinking. It'll be fun to talk massive shit and attempt to get everyone else super trashed so I can laugh at them (a la Nate over Thanksgiving break :P).
Tomorrow I'm going to the beach! I'm excited. I think it's a bit cold outside, but that's okay. At least I won't need to wear socks on the sand like I did last weekend. And this is exciting! This marks the third weekend in a row that I'm going to the beach. BALLIN'. Haha. Oh, and then afterwards, we are driving to Chipotle! Woo! I haven't had real Chipotle in ages. I mean, my parents brought me some once, but it wasn't the same.
Also, I really hate when people ask me to compromise my integrity because it puts me into a really awkward situation. I won't ring you up for alcohol unless I know you're 21. I don't care if you have a fake that swipes. I don't care if I'm going to your party tonight. I like my friends, but I won't risk my job over something as trivial as them needing alcohol. I won't pretend to check their IDs and then enter in a different date because that's something I'm not comfortable with. I hate when people ask. Maybe I have a stick up my ass or something, but at the same time, I could get into a hell of a lot of trouble for doing so. I'd really prefer not to.

A Random Thought

Consider this situation: A husband and a wife have a baby boy. When the boy is old enough to sexually perform, he has sex with his mother. His mother gets pregnant and has the baby. What is the baby's relationship to the boy, his mother, and his father? What would the family tree even look like?

I was walking back to my apartment from the bookstore today with my friend, and somehow this came into conversation. Probably because we were talking about your mom jokes. It's an odd thought. Or at least I think it's odd. If you're grossed out, pretend that you never read this post.

Today feels perfect for rolling over in my grave and dying. It is deathly hot outside. I am tired. I am sweaty. I am behind on all my schoolwork. I am trying to get myself together after Brad left and it's not working.
This is going to be an insanely long week.