I'm So Boring!

Haven't really had anything noteworthy to blog about other than random rants that I kind of gave up on ranting about.
Here are a few bullet points of the past few weeks:
- I hate the Kresge mailroom. Not just because of a giant mishap with a phone that was overnighted to me, but because of their incompetence in general. When an envelope says "Do not bend" you probably should not bend it. Add to that, the mailroom boss, let's call her Kia Parks Bitch, felt the need to address me about my incredible moment of hatred towards the mailroom. I'm Facebook friends with two of the girls who work in there, and I was very unhappy with the phone incident (broken phone, broken charger) so naturally, I vented on Facebook. One of the girls, probably the Jesus loving, trailer park living one, copied&pasted and emailed it to Kia Parks Bitch, like a little baby. I was in the Kresge advising office using their phone, trying to see if I could get a new phone, she told that I was disrespectful and hurtful because of the status I posted. The girls in the mailroom work very hard and they hardly get paid anything for it. And I hurt her feelings. Cry, cry, cry. The girls in the mailroom work very hard, my ass. This isn't even hard work. What is so difficult about sorting mail and sticking it in slots? What is so difficult about writing people's names on their packages, filling in package slips, then filling in a binder with package slip info? What is so difficult about not bending an envelope when it says "Do not bend"? Oh wait... NOTHING. And my roommate tells me they get paid $10 to be incompetent 'cause he applied for a job with the mailroom. Cry to me again?
- I have a new phone! LG EnV Touch. It's pretty cool. Still trying to get used to it.
- I am a dancing MACHINE! And it's great. The last three parties I've been to have been dance parties and they have all rocked my socks off. Also apparently my booty shaking, nonexistent Bhangra skills are to be envied by all. They also effectively clear a dance floor. EXCELLENT.
- I am a slacker. I hate school.

I think that's it.

WOW, You're REALLY Idiots

I just got back from my chemistry lab. I hate chem lab, I really, really do. Chemistry sucks. My lab partners used to suck, but not anymore because I switched. My TA is cool, but his English sucks. Chem lab sucks. Anyway, today sucked as well. It involved a lot of waiting, and a lot of waiting. The experiment was split into three parts, and partners paired up with other partners to split up the parts so people had to do less work.
There was only one group in the entire class doing the last part. It looked like they'd finished, so I went to ask them about their results. They told me that they didn't finish. I asked them why because they were at the tables away from the lab area. They told me that their spectrometer (a device used to measure %T at various wavelengths) did not work so they threw away all their results. They told me that their SPECTROMETER DID NOT WORK SO THEY THREW AWAY ALL OF THEIR SOLUTIONS. ONE spectrometer out of TEN in the class did not work; it happened to be theirs so they THREW AWAY ALL OF THEIR SOLUTIONS. Has the absurdity of this action sunk in yet?
What type of inept retards do you have to be to throw away your solutions because the machine that you happen to be using is not functioning? What type of incompetent idiots do you have to be to not have the thought cross your mind that maybe you could use one of the other ten million spectrometers in the class? What type of complete dumbasses are you to not have common fucking sense pass through your brain? What type of inconsiderate assholes are you to simply throw away solutions that could be put in a different spectrometer so that the entire class can have results?
SERIOUSLY, what the HELL. It's cool if everyone had results. Whatever, your loss. It's a little bit more cool if someone else had done your part and you decided that you are too stupid to use another spectrometer and will instead copy their results. But it's not cool because you made everyone wait, and you made someone else do the part of the experiment to compensate for your complete fucking retarded, incompetent minds.
How are you even in college if you can't think of using another machine? How are you in college if you something so incredibly simple does not pass your mind? When your car runs out of gas, do you junk it because it "doesn't work"? When your computer crashes, do you throw it away because it "doesn't work"? If you can't figure out a calculation, do you just stop because it "doesn't work"? If your cellphone battery dies, do you throw your cellphone away because it is "broken"? If your pencil runs out of lead, or the lead breaks, or the point is dull, do you toss it because it "doesn't work"? Why is it then okay for you to throw away a bunch of solutions because your spectrometer doesn't work?
You're fucking idiots. I hope you get hit by a bus.

A WTF Moment, in a Bad Way

Today, my friends (Indian Alex and Mexican Tim) and I went to the gym after our calculus class. We are a cool group of people filled with retardedness and weirdness. It rocks. We walked through the core of campus and popped out by the bookstore. As we neared our destination, this other Indian guy--let's call him Indian Douche--popped out of nowhere and greeted Alex because somehow all Indian people know each other. I was falling behind because I had been pulling my spandex down, spacing out, talking to people except not because nobody was listening, so I ran down a hill to catch up to them. I noticed Indian Douche, and not wanting to be rude, I said hi, and continued doing what I was doing.
A thought struck my mind: there was a party tonight and I wasn't sure if Mexican Tim was going with us. So I asked him. He inquired about whose party it was, and I told him that it was my friend's friend's 21st birthday party. He said he didn't want to go to a 21st birthday party. I was slightly bewildered. Why wouldn't anyone want to go? Copious amounts of (free) alcohol! So I stated that obvious fact like this: "But there will be copious amounts of alcohol!" Then from behind me, I heard Indian Douche say, "Wow, that's a big word for you."
Excuse me, but what the fuck. I flipped out because I do not appreciate being called stupid. And I definitely do not appreciate a complete stranger insulting my intelligence. In the five minutes (or less) that I have known him, there was no indication of my intelligence level whatsoever outside of the conversation that he was listening to, which was little. Maybe it would be okay if one of my friends had said, haha, big word for Paulina, but not really. That is beside the point. How can someone who doesn't even know me call me stupid? Does talking about going to a party equate to idiocy and stupidity? Because if that's true, then everyone must be goddamn retarded. I could understand why he said that if I was talking about going to a party, getting absolutely hammered, and trying to find a guy to fuck. I could understand why he said that if I used the word, "copious", in the wrong context. I could understand why he said that if I were participating in a really retarded conversation (I can't think of one right now but just imagine a conversation that you hear dumb bitches talk about and pretend I'm talking with someone about that). But nowhere in our less than five minutes of interaction did I even have a chance to prove my stupidity (or lack thereof) to warrant said comment.
I was really mad at my friends because they were laughing at his comment so I called them out on it. They tried to play it off like it was a big word in relation to my size/height. First of all, my size/height and diction have no correlation whatsoever. If your thought process connects big word to big person, you should probably jump off the nearest cliff or bridge. You're stupid. Second of all, do they really think I am that stupid? Okay, this is not the best judge of intelligence, but if you compare our grades and test scores, mine are better by a long shot. And I am not stupid, because why would they be friends with me if copious was such a huge word for my usual vocabulary? And third of all, do they REALLY think I am that stupid to not spot their fucking bullshit from goddamn Pluto? Like I said before, size and diction have no relevancy whatsoever, and if you think that I'm going to believe that pathetic excuse, you better think again or brace yourself for a kick in the nuts.
So Indian Douche, you're fucking stupid for trying to talk shit to/about me. I don't know you, and I really don't care to, but if five minutes of walking next to someone is enough to warrant the idiot title, I have to say, you're a goddamn idiot. PS - I don't know what your vocabulary consists of but "copious" is not that big of a word.

Wow, You're an Idiot

This year at UCSC, we have new washing machines & dryers because people kept flicking pennies in through the quarter slot to save money on washing clothes. Although it is convenient for them, it is inconvenient for everyone else because it causes the machines to break and is a hassle when 700 students need to wash their clothes but only two or three out of six washing machines/dryers are functioning. The new washing machines & dryers are operated by a card that you have to load with money on the internet and then through a verification machine in the laundry room. This ensures that nobody breaks the machines by flicking pennies into it, and that the university gets their money from people doing their laundry.
Anyway, today, I went to retrieve my clothes from the dryer so I could head off to class. Inside the Kresge East laundry room was a boy. This boy asked me to help him get the washing machine to start because he couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong. Clothes in the washing machine? Yup. Laundry detergent in? I assumed so. Card inserted? Wait, what card!? said the bewilderment on his face. This idiot had inserted quarters into a designated card slot on the two washing machines he was using.
First of all, are you an idiot? Second of all, are you an idiot? And third, I don't know what type of places you've been to, but nowhere in my nineteen and a half years and eleven days of existence have I ever seen a place where you could insert coins into card slots. Maybe it would be okay if there was a coin slot in addition to a card slot and he absentmindedly stuck it in the card slot. Unfortunately for him, there are only card slots on all washing machines and dryers.
How did someone like that get into college is what I'm wondering. Because if you're sticking coins into card slots and wondering why a machine isn't working, you should probably go back to kindergarten.

Get Owned, Bitch.

I touched a bit upon it a few entries ago. And by touched, I mean, I mentioned slightly. So anyway, here is a problem that has been going on for two~ years. Black Friday 2007, I got this rad Juicy necklace from Nordstrom. I kept it in its little box inside my cosmetics case. I didn't/don't wear much jewelry, so this little number never saw the light of day. Then many moons passed and it came time for me to go visit Brad for the first time in Washington. I was very excited and I wanted to bring my necklace along. I never wore it or anything, so it should have been where I left it. Amirite? More like wrong. I opened up my cosmetics case. The little box it came in was there. I opened the box. The necklace was missing. Wait, what? Yup. The necklace was missing.
See, now that makes no sense whatsoever. How can something go missing if it was never used and never touched? Gee, I wonder.
Naturally, I blamed my sister because when my things go missing that I haven't misplaced, she's stolen it. She flipped the hell out and started screaming and crying about how I always accuse her of taking my stuff. It's like the boy who cried wolf. He kept saying there was a wolf when there wasn't. So when there finally was a wolf, nobody believed him. Well, if she kept stealing my stuff, and I kept finding my things among hers... yeah.
So this issue has been ongoing since then. Every single time I've brought it up, my parents and most people I know have called me a liar. They told me that I was simply trying to start trouble.
Then pictures have popped up of her wearing it on Facebook. Gee, how did that happen. So I sent the pictures to my mom, and she said she didn't have any proof. Are pictures of her stealing it not PROOF enough? Then she accused me of trying to start trouble again.

(Faces of the innocent have been colored out to protect their privacy.)

So today I was digging around the room that I share with my sister, and what did I find? One of the Juicy jackets that I bought on eBay because the description said it was purple but when I opened the package, it was gray and my necklace! They were hidden in a box of my sister's junk, underneath a pile of old sweatshirts and jackets.



And just in case my description of how/why I bought the jacket isn't enough and I am still lying, here are pictures of me wearing it in Santa Cruz and in Washington.



So I win, you lose. I rise, you fall. (Hahaha, "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" reference.) Who's the liar now?

When Will People Learn

I don't get it. When are people going to learn that messing with my stuff is NOT the way to make it easy to live with me? In fact, when are people going to learn that messing with other people's stuff in general doesn't make it easy to live with anyone, unless they're fucking retards and are completely oblivious, or if they are hippies?
Seriously. I am not that hard to get along with unless you're offended by the the things that come out of my mouth. I keep to myself a lot. I like to be awkward, but only for shitz & gigglez. But going through my stuff, stealing, and throwing my things away is INSTANTLY going to make me want to rip your fucking brains out. And everyone I live/d with doesn't seem to fucking understand that. It's not that fucking hard. Don't touch my things and there will be no disasters of epic proportions.

I Hate Twilight

I'm in the minority, but seriously, the book and movie are incredibly stupid and despicable. I read the book sometime last summer out of boredom, and tonight, I decided to watch the movie to see wtf was up. Both were a waste of time.

Let me sum up the novel/movie for you:
Bella: I just moved here and I don't know anybody, but there's this Edward guy and he's so pretty and gorgeous and he hates me. Oh wait, no, he loves me? He loves me!
Edward: Bella, I love you, but I'm a VAMPIRE. I'm evil! We can't be together. You'd be so much better off without me. I sparkle! I'm evil! I sparkle! I put you in danger.
*cue James, black guy, ugly woman*
James: I'm James, and I'm a tracker. Edward looked at me funny! What a challenge! I am going to kill Bella! Ha ha ha.
*cue five minutes/pages of anticlimactic fighting in Phoenix in which James is killed*
The end.

Not to mention the acting is terrible. Do Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have expressions other than a stoned stare? I've seen more emotion out of a statue.

Also, I've come to the conclusion that Robert Pattinson is not that sexy.

Kill me, please.

Nasty

A while ago, there was a bit of a plumbing issue underneath the sink in the bathroom. It leaked or something and got a roll of toilet paper wet. Well, eventually, that toilet paper got moldy, but it somehow remained in the bathroom. After we used up a bunch of toilet paper, that was the only one left. I was using my nice toilet paper that I purchased because I got tired of people not paying for toilet paper. Then my mom brought up some even nicer toilet paper, so I put all of my previous toilet paper in the bathroom for usage and horded the nice ones. Those ran out super magically quick as well. Now, the only toilet paper left in the bathroom is the moldy one. It's been sitting on the floor being moldy. IT IS STARTING TO GET USED. How nasty is that!!! Good thing I have my toilet paper for bringing in and out of the bathroom like a little Jew.
Anyway, I'm hitting that end of the school year slump. I don't really want to do school, but my grades are definitely that great so I can't slack off :( I don't have work this weekend so I'm going to be at the beach! I'm so excited. Also, Nick Rubin is coming to visit me tomorrow and he's taking me out to dinner. Woo! Good food :)

Explain This

I bought one of those 24-packs of single American cheese slices from Safeway. You know, the kind where they're individually wrapped for burgers and things. The first time I used them was last weekend when Brad was here. I put two on my breakfast burger, and I ate one because I was really hungry. I noticed that I've had a bunch missing since then even though I've only eaten three. I ate two or three more on Sunday when I made myself some food, but not enough to get rid of over half the bag. Today, I opened up the fridge and noticed that there was only five left. Annoyed with people constantly eating my food, I put it in a ziploc bag that said "Please buy your own cheese and stop eating mine." Not a big deal, right? If you don't eat my food, you don't notice, or you don't say anything because you don't eat it. I came back to poke through the fridge after my math class today and it had a note on it that said "Chill out, nobody is eating your food."
If nobody is eating my food, why do I only have FIVE slices of cheese left when I should have about 18 or 19? I would know if I ate it, not to mention I've cooked twice in this kitchen since I've gotten the damn cheese.
If nobody is eating my food, why do you bother putting a note on it? In fact, why are you even fucking around with my food? You don't eat it? Cool. Not a big deal. You ignore it and go on with your day. You don't have to try to cover up for yourself and say nobody is eating my food. Because somebody is eating my food. It doesn't mysteriously disappear and dispose of itself. And I haven't eaten any of it. Dumb bitch.
I'm so glad I'm getting a mini-fridge. I might just take some of her stuff and tell her nobody is eating her food.