Saturday, November 22, 2008

The Avocado Conquest

I am a hungry girl. I go into the living room/kitchen in search of some vittles. I find a bag of Lay's, almost empty. I pick at some chips and eat them. I find my semi-delicious (my Asian tongue has been cursed by What White People Think Is Good Asian Food Like Pho Hoa) Chinese food from last week. Honey walnut prawns, in case you were wondering. It is my most favorite and delicious dish ever. Anyway, I opened that up. The mayonnaise or whatever coats it looks semi-chunky. I decided I would try it anyway. I heat it up in our broken microwave. The chunkies do not disappear and are now oily/greasy. I am a hungry girl, so I eat it anyway. It is nasty. I stop after three walnuts and one soggy, limp shrimp. I eye my yogurt. I am too hungry to bother tossing in granola so I eat my yogurt. But first, inside the bag holding the yogurt, there is an avocado. I lumber back to my room to continue writing my letter to Joshua A. Greenberg and to chat to Brad and JAG. I am semi-scarfing down my yogurt when I think Avocado... and then I think AVOCADO!? And I eat my yogurt somemore, thinking Avocado... I then decide I will eat that avocado. After all, I am a hungry girl. The conversation in my head went more like this: AVOCADO!? from one side of my head. Then the other side went in a deep, rumbling, booming voice YES!! AVOCADO. So I listen to my hungry, primal instincts and dash back to the kitchen to My Avocado. My Avocado is sitting inside the refridgerator screaming "EAT ME! EAT ME!" I grab it, and a knife. Then I proceed to cut myself as I try to cut open the avocado. Twice. It was a sorry sight. But I do not falter. I pick up the knife again, and triumphantly saw it open! It was quite glorious chomping into its fleshy, green insides. The Avocado cannot defeat me.