Monday, November 3, 2008

Random Questions

Maybe you can help me answer them!

Do bus drivers get sad when they don't have many people on their bus? Do they feel lonely? Does it make them think that nobody wants to be their friend?

Do tree sitters dress up for Halloween?
If you wanted to solicit candy from a tree sitter, what would you do? Do you rustle their leaves? Do you throw up a candy basket? Do you climb up to say hi?
What if you wanted to say hi to a tree sitter? Do you climb up? Is that trespassing? Would you get in trouble? What if they thought you were harassing them? Would they fling feces at you?
When it rains, do tree sitters shower? Is it fun? Do they hate it? How do they even shower or are they just dirty for life? But how are they dirty? They don't do anything, they just sit in trees.
What do they do in the trees? Do they masturbate? Do they play video games? Do they sit and twiddle their thumbs? It must be awfully boring to sit in a tree all day and all night. Do they make friends with birds and squirrels and bugs? Do they eat bugs? In fact, what do they eat? And where does it go? Do they defecate in buckets and lower it down? Who collects the buckets? The Head of the Tree Sitters Association?
Is there a Tree Sitters Association? What do they protest? Why do they do it? Do they get paid?
Do tree sitters even have real jobs? What do they tell their bosses? "Hey Boss, I'm going tree sitting for an indefinite time. Peace, homie."? Do they constantly have to submit vacation time? Is tree sitting even a vacation?
Do tree sitters get homesick? Do they write letters? How do they deliver their letters if they don't move from the tree? How do they even get mail? Would they even be offended if you threw up a paper airplane letter so they'd feel special?
Do bird poop on them? Then what do they do? How do they get it out of their clothing? What if they get waste on themselves? Then what? They can't just wash it off.

To be continued :)

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