I'm having a lot of mixed days lately, seems like something always has to happen to counter out the awesome things, so I'm going to start making random lists of goodness in my day. After I bitch about something else, or complain, of course.
I have tremendous anxiety being in, near, or around my apartment. When I sit here in this room, doing whatever I do, I'm anxious. When I hear the doors open and shut, I'm on my toes getting ready. Why? Every day, the minute I walk through the door, I get bitched at. Every single fucking day. And it's fucking retarded because I should not be scared to come "home". I should not want to cry, or vomit, or both when I think about "home". I should not have to walk in and out of my room looking at stupid signs on the door about me. I should not have to be on my defenses all the time when I am here. Seriously. Sometimes it seems like people in college are even more immature than people in high school. I thought I left all that shit behind, but I guess not. Dumb.
Anyway, good things about today:
1. My chem textbook came in the mail today! YAY! I know, this is a semi-nerdy thing to be happy about, but now I can do my chem homework! FYI - one of my quarter goals is to get an A, if that gives me less nerd points.
2. My chem section TA is pretty funny, and there is a GUY IN MY CLASS ON THE VOLLEYBALL TEAM. I must befriend him. Haha.
3. I understand chemistry. Well, at least so far.
4. I have a new friend named Alex Kumar. He went to Fremont High School and played middle for their team. Oh and did I mention he knows GRANT JASMIN? (LOL, Natalie.) Also he wants to get together and play volleyball with me sometime.
5. I managed to get the schedule I wanted after much stalking of the website and frustration and fiddling around with it. SCORE. The only bad thing is Wednesdays are crazy. I have chem at 8 in the morning, precalc at 11am, chem section at 12:30pm, precalc section at 3:30pm, and writing 2 at 7pm. YIKES. Hopefully I don't get too tired.
And that's it for now.
I have tremendous anxiety being in, near, or around my apartment. When I sit here in this room, doing whatever I do, I'm anxious. When I hear the doors open and shut, I'm on my toes getting ready. Why? Every day, the minute I walk through the door, I get bitched at. Every single fucking day. And it's fucking retarded because I should not be scared to come "home". I should not want to cry, or vomit, or both when I think about "home". I should not have to walk in and out of my room looking at stupid signs on the door about me. I should not have to be on my defenses all the time when I am here. Seriously. Sometimes it seems like people in college are even more immature than people in high school. I thought I left all that shit behind, but I guess not. Dumb.
Anyway, good things about today:
1. My chem textbook came in the mail today! YAY! I know, this is a semi-nerdy thing to be happy about, but now I can do my chem homework! FYI - one of my quarter goals is to get an A, if that gives me less nerd points.
2. My chem section TA is pretty funny, and there is a GUY IN MY CLASS ON THE VOLLEYBALL TEAM. I must befriend him. Haha.
3. I understand chemistry. Well, at least so far.
4. I have a new friend named Alex Kumar. He went to Fremont High School and played middle for their team. Oh and did I mention he knows GRANT JASMIN? (LOL, Natalie.) Also he wants to get together and play volleyball with me sometime.
5. I managed to get the schedule I wanted after much stalking of the website and frustration and fiddling around with it. SCORE. The only bad thing is Wednesdays are crazy. I have chem at 8 in the morning, precalc at 11am, chem section at 12:30pm, precalc section at 3:30pm, and writing 2 at 7pm. YIKES. Hopefully I don't get too tired.
And that's it for now.
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