Sunday, January 11, 2009

More What the Fuck

Something I don't understand is why I always get bitched at for locking the door to my room. I mean, isn’t that a fairly standard thing to do on a college campus, whether or not you live in an apartment? Or even if you live somewhere with people you don’t really know?
This is the conversation that happened about thirty minutes ago, coupled with the conversation (#8) that occurred yesterday morning:

1. You always lock Nicole and me out.
Actually I’ve only done it twice. Half the time, I lock the door when you and Nicole are sleeping inside the room. Last night you had a key. That doesn’t constitute as getting locked out because you were able to unlock the door with your very own special key. Also, having a key on you wasn’t that difficult, was it? Don’t cry, little baby. Also, might I add that you've locked us out once too? *gasp!*

2. This is my room too.
Orly? Nowai! Me too! That’s why I lock the door to keep my things, and subsequently your things, safe!

3. Nobody’s going to steal your shit.
Then why do my Chewy bars always go missing, save for the last bar in the box? Gee, I wonder. (Answer: stoner roommates.)

4. Nobody in this apartment is going to steal your shit.
But you don’t know that! I lived in the same room with my sister for sixteen years. She’s stolen my shit before, and she still does! Not to mention, if they take someone’s things from in this apartment, aren’t they going to hide it and not make it obvious that they took it? Or perhaps sell it? I mean that’s just common sense. And what about the people who come in and out of the apartment that you or I don’t know? Are you really going to say that you trust the entire world with your ugly Fendi wallet lying on top of your desk with the door wide open? No, I didn’t think so.

5. I don’t like you locking the door.
I don’t like you not locking the door.

6. Why do you always do it?
Well, let’s see. One, I don’t want people taking my things. Two, I don’t want strangers coming in and out of the room like they did two nights ago.

7. I told them that it was okay to do that.
Thanks for consulting my sleeping self. It’s my room too! Do you think I’m comfortable with random guys going in and out of the room, much less sleeping near me? No.

8. You were hanging out with them.
No. I was talking to them, and sitting in the hallway with my friends. Just because I associated once with some people doesn’t mean I invite them to sleep with me and into my life, and my home and everything. Is that homeless person you might give money to your friend? Are you going to invite him to sleep in your bed because you feel bad for him? I mean you gave him money! That’s like letting him borrow money! Friends let friends borrow money, right? That’s right. He’s not your friend. And they’re not my friends either.

9. Well, you’re in the room all the time anyway.
Actually, no. Your attempt at being bitchy and snide is fairly pathetic. I go in and out through the side door so I can deal with you, your vagina boyfriend, and Bear as little as possible. Do you notice? No. Because you’re not in the room!

Does anyone else have this problem? Am I the only one who thinks it's okay to lock my door? I don't get it.

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